You might have been broken many times in your life. You have
had life deliver blows that have knocked you to the ground. The pain and the
feeling of hopelessness and despair have consumed your life for so many months
that all you wish for is to die. But did you know that some life experiences
make you stronger? According to Nev Schlman “Life experience is what defines
our character, even if it means getting your heart broken or being lied to. You
know, you need the downs to appreciate the ups. Going on the adventure or
taking that risk is important”
For us to live our lives to the fullest the only way we
can achieve this is by overcoming the challenges that life throws at us. We have
to experience the pain, the betrayal, the adversity, the feelings of
hopelessness and the despair; otherwise, how else do we learn about who we are?
There is no other way for us to learn how to be resilient,
courageous, hopeful and optimistic about life and our future. Though we do not
like it, everyone feels broken at some point on their life journey. Often when
we find ourselves at this place of despair we do not know what to do and so we
can end up living our life through our fear, regret, pain, disillusionment and
sadness. This is not the way our lives are meant to be lived.
When you are feeling broken inside remember these 7 things as
they will help you discover your courage and build your resilience so that you
can step out and embrace the joy of living a life you love. And always have
this in mind, that someone out there loves and cares for you. All you have to
do is to open up and be free.
1. Remember To Accept
and Anticipate Change
“It is not the most
intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that
survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt
and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.” - Dr
Leon C. Megginson.
Change is inevitable, no matter how hard we try not to tell somethings change
us, it will always happen. Instead of fighting the inevitability of change,
learn to accept it. Embrace change and know that by doing this your life can
only get better. Resisting the change around you will only make you feel broken
deep and even in some cases feel discouraged.
2. Remember To Embrace
Your Power of Choice
When you choose to do something and you are sure about it,
stick to it. Using your power of choice will help you to change the approach in
life from a different perspective when you feel broken. It will also empower
and strengthen your ability to take actions and make the right decisions.
3. Remember To Ask For
Help
“Asking for help does
not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced
level of honesty and intelligence.” Anne Wilson Schaef. Asking for help doesn’t mean you
are weak, or maybe you are stupid or don’t know what you are doing. When you
feel broken, you might want to hide from the world because you will feel people
will look at you as a failure. Sometimes you might feel embarrassed or think
that people will not help when you tell them of your problems. But you are very
wrong, because the support, advice, care and encouragement you get from others
help you to overcome any problems.
It is the energy and wisdom from friends, family and
supporters that fuels our courage and our desire to take action to change our
lives for the better.
4. Remember To Be
Present
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only
today. Let us begin.” Mother Teresa
Some people are fond of staying in the past without letting
go. Staying in the past will only keep you hurting and feel broken the more.
Rather learn to let go, strive to see what the future holds for you. When you
feel broken in your life, it will be your negative thoughts that dictate your
feelings of sadness, disillusionment and unhappiness. When you feel joy and
happiness, your positive thoughts of hope and self-belief will support more of
these feelings. The key to managing your negative thoughts is to practice
trying to distance yourself from these thoughts and observe them rather than
react automatically to them.
If you are criticizing yourself for doing something, then
label that thought, "criticizing". Then ask yourself how long you
want to spend criticizing and blaming yourself. If you always blame people for
your failures, then it also has to stop because that is the only way you can
drive happiness.
5. Remember To Focus On
What Brings You Joy
“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn
out the pain” – Joseph Campbell
When you are feeling despair, frustration and hopelessness it
is easy to forget the good things that are happening in your life. In fact, if
you are consumed by negativity you will start to believe that there is nothing
good in your life. Focusing on what in your life is good and what brings you
joy is important. Is it hanging out with friends that makes you happy? Then
start doing that like you just have a minute to live. Is it watching comedies
that will bring out the joy back? Then go to the cinema or even buy lots of
funny movies. It is only when you are happy that you will achieve lots of
things.
6. Remember To Be
Hopeful about Your Future
“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one
day at a time” – Abraham Lincoln
Maybe you have been trying to achieve something, but every
time you keep trying it you keep failing. This can be very discouraging. It is
very hard to feel hopeful for the future when you feel so much pain and broken.
You will only start to heal when you take a step one at a time. So start to
believe in yourself and beat your chest and say it out loud ‘‘I can do it’’!.
7. Remember To Accept
That Life Is A Mystery
“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved; it is a reality
to be experienced” –Jacobus Johannes Leeuw. Our life is full of experiences. It
is only when you take a risk or even get hurt that you will be made stronger.
Accepting and embracing the mystery of life allows us to heal and look at our
pain as only one chapter of many chapters in our life. You can only strive and
move forward when you embrace any challenges. Resisting it means you are not
ready to achieve lots of things or to even move forward in life. Instead of
fighting and questioning life and blaming yourself for how you feel, take a
deep breath and remember that life is a mystery. Do not make the moments of
despair and unhappiness in your life as foundations for how you will live your
life forever. Rather, embrace it, either the good, the bad or the ugly so that
you will come out strong.
Just remember you can do it and live your life to the
fullest!
BY: Pupwaya Timothy Dibal
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