Dirty Secrets from your Past
We all have dirty secrets and even dirtier secrets! But should you reveal all your secrets to your woman and come completely clean? Is it good to confess or is it better to bury your secrets and forget all about it? When you’re totally in love with this girl you’ve been seeing since the past few months.
Seriously, there will be no peace of mind because you will be wondering if revealing your sordid past to her would really help you.
Well you have to think deep before answering those question because she might just end up uncovering your deepest secrets and scream those words you wish you would never have to hear, “Why did you hide them from me for so long?!”.
Should you tell her?
No relationship is built on the cleanest of foundations. There is bound to be dirt somewhere or the other, from the both of you. But if you think the dirt’s going to start stinking soon, let her know all about it so you can chuck that garbage out before it’s too late.
Drop all talks about your exes and one night stands, unless they’re interfering with your present. Other than that, if there are things coming in between the both of you, she should definitely know about it, but without the details.
Now before you open your mouth and strengthen your relationship with your honesty, you need to think about a few things. Will your saying this improve your relationship and help her trust you more, or would it just make things worse? Would she be devastated if she heard this piece of information from someone else? Does she have a right to know this or can it pass? Once you’ve answered these questions truthfully, then it’s time to make your decision. Also there are things you can’t hide from her like suffering from an STD or something along those lines, secret addiction or bankruptcy. These are definitely things she should know. It’s not just your life you’re taking to the guillotine. Intricate details have to be skipped at all costs. So keep it simple and real. Tell her just how much she needs to know, without divulging all the secrets.
When is it a good time?
If you’re being blackmailed or threatened by one of your past escapades, then make sure your partner hears it from you first, even if it’s during one of your worse times in love. Holding back these details can end your relationship.
The perfect time to tell her such things is when she tells you a few deep secrets of hers. It can be taken a bit more lightly than on other times. She would at least understand that you were just waiting for an opportunity to mention it to her. If she doesn’t have anything to reveal, tell her at a time when you know it’ll just be the both of you there and nothing will disturb you after you’re done revealing your secrets. There’s nothing worse than getting your boss’s call just after talking to her, and you have to leave in a hurry. You can be sure you’d find her car’s tread marks by the time you get back home.
Tell her what you have to, when you know you can be there to sit with her, and take everything she has to tell you, out of sorrow or anger. Make sure you don’t retaliate more than you have to at these times. Justifying yourself to a certain extent is fine, outright aggression isn’t.
By Chizzy Okoye