You and Your Self-esteem

One of the recipes for a successful and fulfilling life is a healthy self-esteem. Your self-esteem reflects your personal evaluation of your own worth. People with a healthy self-esteem are able to appreciate themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They are able to acknowledge that their imperfections and faults are only a small part of who they are, and their faults do not play a pivotal role in their lives or their self-image. The importance of self-esteem lies in the fact that it concerns ourselves, the way we are and the sense of our personal value; it affects the way we behave and the way we relate with everybody else, including our colleagues, friends and family. Nothing in the way we think, feel, act, or make decisions escapes the influence of self-esteem. The impression you have of yourself, which is your self-esteem, is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life. Having a low opinion of oneself is self-destruction.

Many people, men and women alike, suffer from low self-esteem, and may try to compensate by being overly arrogant and egotistic. Such people are often hostile and disrespectful to others. Other characteristics of a person with low self-esteem include:

Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and a feeling of being attacked, pushing such persons to go into defensive hostile mode

Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of making mistakes

An excessive desire to please all others even if it means displeasing yourself

Pessimism and general negative outlook

Individuals with low self-esteem depend on the approval and praise of others for their won evaluation of self-worthiness.

Low self-esteem leads to lack of confidence, poor productivity and general lack of satisfaction. Research shows that people who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to engage in risky behaviours such as alcohol and drug abuse, etc. Fortunately, this is a problem that can be fixed. Here are a few proven ways to help you improve your self-esteem.

1.Stop comparing other people’s strengths to your weaknesses. There is often the tendency to always recognise how good people are at things, and how we don’t measure up. “Wow that person is much better at speaking than me”, “That person exudes more confidence”, etc. This habit eventually causes you to disregard your own strengths, causes you stress and wreaks havoc on your performances. It is important to appreciate other people’s strengths; but, instead of seeing them as competition, consider it an opportunity to learn how you can develop your own skills.

2.Discipline yourself to do what you know is right and important. This may seem difficult, but, it is the highroad to developing confidence, self-esteem and personal satisfaction.

3.Do not rely on someone else to make you happy and self-worthy because only you can be responsible for that. If you cannot love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes as you see fit, otherwise you will never see opportunities when they present themselves, and even if you do, you will not have the confidence to make a move towards it; you will feel you are not deserving of it.

4.Never bend your head!  Always hold it high and look the world straight in the face. If you see yourself to be king, others will do the same; and if you see yourself as inferior, others will too. Remember that the way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.

By: Akaomachi B