Relationship resolutions for the New Year

The New Year sees many of us making resolutions, vowing to improve many aspects of our lives including our relationships, health, lifestyle and much more. Being in a relationship or even married and always having a problem can be a problem. You might have tried all you can within your power to have a happy relationship but it is not working. Each time you make up your mind not to fight with your spouse and say sorry, the next minute you both are fighting and calling each other names. Having problems in a relationship is inevitable, whether you are from the north, south, west or east. At the end of every year, we always come up with New Year resolutions, but the question now is how many of us then take that vague resolution to make our relationships better and turn it into a series of tangible action points? You want to move your relationship or marriage to the next level this New Year? You want to stop the constant fighting? 

Read on and improve your relationship for the better this New Year with these simple tips.

1. Think positive. Maybe you are the type that is always having a negative thought about your spouse and even when he or she does something nice you don’t see the good side of it. Then this New Year is the right time for you to make a change. This year, instead vow to remind yourself of the things you love about your relationship and why your partner is amazing. It will change the way you handle challenges and lead to fewer arguments.

2. Let go of the past. Maybe your husband or wife has done something in the past, and each time you both have a fight you remind him or her of that particular incident. For how long will you continue holding on to that? Move past it. Instead of stacking up past ‘failures’ to prove a point, work on ways of building trust in the relationship to ensure that arguments don’t become recurrent.

3. Be emotionally honest. A lot of people have problem showing their partner true feelings because of the fear of being seen as vulnerable or maybe their partner won't return the love. For this reason, they tend to love their partner away from them. It’s important to let your partner in on what you are feeling so that he or she will know how to help the situation. 

4. Make quality time a priority. The modern age has taken over us that what we consider to be important is working 24/7 just to make more money. Or when we are with our loved ones all we do is to be constantly checking our phones. You should have a rethink this year, do away with things that you know you and your partner are always fighting about. If you are married and have kids, you can decide to go out with them so that you will keep the flame of love in your family burning.  

5. Praise more than you criticise. We are not perfect, and sometime you can do something that will make your partner to be so angry with you. Instead of criticising each other, compliment your partner often and before bringing up a little issue, ask yourself if it’s worth starting a fight over.

6. Try something new. It’s easy to fall into the habit of doing the same old things all the time and you might get bored with each other. If you are from the northern part of the country, and all what you do is to put on big blouse with wrapper which your husband doesn’t find attractive anymore, then you need to change. Try to go for something fitted like a lovely abaya or a nice fitted top and skirt. He will be shocked when he comes back home and sees a new you. 

7. Listen. One of the biggest mistakes people make in their relationship is they don’t listen. The lady or man will always want to be heard instead. If you want to take your relationship to the next level, then try as much as possible to pay attention to your partner and don’t interrupt them. African men love it when they talk and you listen. Let them talk, hear them, and let them know that they are heard.

8. Respect each other. When there is no respect in a relationship or marriage, there is bound to be a problem. Try as much as possible to respect each other’s feelings and opinions. With this your relationship will always be strong and your love for each other will not go away.

By breaking down the potentially daunting task of “make my relationship better” into smaller tasks, your small improvements every day will soon start to add up.

Here’s to fantastic relationships in 2017!

By: Pupwaya Timothy Dibal