Building Trust in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships take patience, communication, endurance, commitment and above all trust. When you can’t see your partner as often as you would wish, it’s important to trust in your love and the strength of your relationship to keep you both happy and healthy. A relationship is basically like a banana, the more you peel, the more you will taste the sweetness. This fact is very true for long distance relationships. Long distance relationships create extra challenges and stressors, and you might have to overcome quite a lot of different obstacles, but if you trust each other, you can cultivate a very happy and fulfilling relationship.

Trust is absolutely vital in a long distance relationship. It does not matter how far your partner is from you, what matters is how much you trust them. If you do not have trust, then you may as well not have a long distance relationship.

 Here are nine simple tips to help you survive long distance relationship.

Get to know your Partner well: You need to be confident in your knowledge of your partner and your love for your partner in order to build a relationship that you can both believe in. Learn how to understand your partner, how to interpret what he/she says and pick out his/her emotional states. You should be able to tell when something is bothering him/her and know what makes him/her feel better. Ask questions about what your partner likes and dislikes, what he wants to do in the next one year or five years, who your partners friends are. You can play two-truths and a lie game; tell your partner two truths and one falsehood about you and let him/her guess which one is the lie, or you can make a quiz about yourself and send it to her. Have her do the same and send to you, compete to get the most answers right.

Commit to the Relationship: You can discuss what you want to get out of the relationship and where you see it going. Commit to the trust and communication that sustain a long distance relationship. Understand the difficulties you will face and talk about them with your partner. At the end of the day, if the relationship is going to work, you both need to fully dedicate yourself to it without hesitation.

Talk to your Partner Often: it’s hard to believe in a relationship when you never talk to your partner and it’s hard to build a relationship when you don’t know what’s going on in your partner’s life. Make sure you talk often so that you can participate in his/her life and you can feel her presence in yours. Regular communication is the key to sustaining any relationship, this is very true for long distance relationship.

Be Open with your partner: Honest and open communication is just as important as talking often. If something is worrying you, your partner should be the first to know. If she’s feeling upset or frustrated, she should be comfortable opening up to you. If you are consistently open with your partner, she will learn to trust what you say and will feel more comfortable in the relationship. Be completely honest with your partner and trust that she will be honest with you too.

Be Reliable: Encourage your partner to trust you by always proving yourself worthy of her trust. Follow through on your promises, even the small ones like calling her at a specific time or responding to a message. If you find that you can’t follow through on a promise, have a very good reason why, and explain this to her.

Give your Partner Space: Although you may want to spend every moment of every day talking with her, recognize that she needs time and space to live her own life. Don’t pressure her to give you more of her time and energy than she is comfortable with. Trust that she will come to you when she needs to and allow her space to be her own person within your relationship. Finding the right balance between personal space and regular communication is perhaps the hardest part of a long term relationship and the balance is different for every couple. Experiment and check in with each other regularly to see what works and what does not. Work together to find a balance that lets you both be as happy and healthy as possible.

Assume good Intentions: Your partner will likely do or say something that might confuse or alarm you. She might not return a call or she might make a snide or offensive comment when talking to you. Don’t jump to conclusions about her intentions when this happens. Assuming that she is hiding something or deliberately antagonizing you is a great way to insult her and damage your relationship. Instead, assume that there is a perfectly valid, reasonable explanation for whatever she did and ask her about it the next time you talk. Always assuming good intentions will foster trust and good feeling and is crucial in sustaining a long distance relationship.

Address Disagreements Calmly and Rationally: As it is with any relationship, it is inevitable that you will at some point get annoyed or angry at each other. When this happens, address the issue calmly. Discuss your disagreement. Make an effort to understand each others side and explain how you feel. Work together to come up with the resolution. Regard disagreements as an opportunity to build up your relationship, rather than something that could tear it apart.

Plan your next visit: Even if you can’t see each other often, always have a place and date set for the next visit. This will give you both something to look forward to. It can guide your relationship and help you move forward together without necessarily entailing definite long term plans. Make the most out of your visits even if they are rare and always be thinking about the next one.

If you are in a long distance relationship, the only key that can make you both to succeed in the relationship is trust, especially when you both love each other and wish for something good to come out of the relationship. Make sure you trust your partner no matter what, always pay attention and listen carefully to your heart. 

By: Mercy Kukah