WHY THIS WAR BETWEEN DOMESTICS HELPS AND THEIR EMPLOYERS?

Stories abound about the evils that domestic helps perpetrate in homes that employ them. These evils range from petty thievery to outright murder, or wreckage of marriages. There are even more stories about the cruelty of employers of domestic helps to these unfortunate individuals who seem to settle for jobs they do not particularly like because of challenges of life.  Whether the domestic helps are males or females, the stories are the same. Recently, a man named David severed the head of his former boss, a 65 year old retired magistrate, at her residence in Ogun State. Her crime was that she sacked David for allegedly stealing her valuables: phones and jewelleries. Shortly after, we read of another saga where a clergyman’s wife wasn’t satisfied with beating up her house help, but had to bite her on the buttocks. Not quite long ago there was another story of Chiamaka Nnajiofor, who was sentenced to ten years imprisonment for the murder of her house keeper. The story goes on and on. In fact the list is endless. But what is wrong, if one may ask? Why does there seem to be an undeclared war between employers of domestic helps and the domestic helps?

First, let us start with the employers. Many employers of domestic helps treat their helps the way whites treated black slaves, or even worse, during the ugliest period of earth history. To the whites, the black man or woman was not a complete human being. In fact, the whites gave their dogs a pride of place when the choice was between a white man’s dog and his black slave. But ironically, it was the black slaves who looked after the affairs of the whites, including taking care of their children. After centuries of mistreatment, a few whites began to recognise in the black skin a fellow human being, and thus the move for abolition of slave trade began; although some people believe that humanitarian factors had nothing to do with the abolition, but rather because the whites had no further use for slave labour as a result of industrial revolution. The point we are trying to make is that a point comes when the master realises that the servant is also a human being. But if he fails to do so, then, he might just breed a monster that would turn around and devour him.

There are stories of black slaves who fed their masters sandwiches filled with their excrement. There are others who passed urine, spittle or some other unspeakable things into drinking or bathing water served to their masters. Wickedness does not fail to breed wickedness. When a servant watches you eat your sumptuous meals with your children and dogs, while he/she goes hungry or is fed with stale food from two nights before, you set yourself up as a target for vendetta. It is not that anybody, servant or master, is justified to mete out evil to anyone. But bear in mind that a time comes when one just cannot take it any more.

Now, let’s talk about why you need a domestic help. Some need domestic helps because they work tight schedule and just cannot combine domestic chores with their daily office or work routine. In time past, women simply stayed home to take care of things at the home front. But a number of factors have combined to change all that, sending wives and mothers into the work place. The result is that both fathers and mothers go to work in the morning and return late at night, with children left in the care of domestic helps. The job of a domestic help has thus become very important and indispensable. Considering the dominant role a domestic help has now to play, it goes without saying that getting a suitable domestic help should not be a task that should be left in the hands of touts or traffickers. We are talking about someone to whom you would practically hand over your life and the lives of your children; it should be viewed as serious as that. There have been stories of children being infected with serious diseases through domestic helps. Therefore, recruiting a domestic help should be viewed more seriously than even recruiting an office secretary.

In developed countries, there are agencies where one can hire domestic helps from. The agencies usually do all the background checks and categorise their agents so that when you apply for a domestic help they give you a range of choices and the cost implications. There are even domestic helps that can double as home tutors for your kids. In this way there is mutual respect. If you are not satisfied with the services, you can always report back to the agency who might withdraw that help and give you another one. But whatever happens, you don’t go beating and slapping the domestic helps as if they were your personal slaves. Anyway, that is in the developed society.

Back home here, I think you can still get as close as possible to what obtains out there. You just have to view the issue of getting your domestic help with some seriousness. You can even advertise or ask friends and relations to recommend someone. But the benefits you attach to the post will determine the quality of domestic help that will respond. More importantly, keep in mind that nobody is born to be permanently your domestic help. While he or she is helping you out, you might think of investing in the life of the person so that when it comes time for him/her to move on, either to higher institution or to a better job or even getting married, he/she can recommend a friend as good to help you out. Bottom line is you reap what you sow.

Another thing to bear in mind is that there is no course listed in JAMB brochure as Domestic Help Studies or House-girl/Houseboy-ship. It is an on-the-job-training kind of job. This means that you will patiently keep correcting and showing how best you want to be served until they begin to get it right and satisfy you. It will help if you bear in mind that they are human beings prone to human errors. They are not human machines programmed to serve you exactly as you wish. But with a little patience and give and take here and there, you can get the best out of your domestic helps.

Ola N. Uchendu