Tuesday 6 December 2016

Acts of Love that Work Against Your Children


Some people will agree with me that being a parent is one of the most difficult tasks on earth. It does not require any sort of schooling or previous knowledge or experience, you just find yourself being a parent and yet you are expected to be a master at it. There is no any right way to raise a child, we always want to give our children the best, and we also want to give them all the good things we never had when we were there age.
Some parents go extra miles to show affection to their children, at the end of everything these love and affection shown by parents to their kids end up bringing shame and disgrace instead of bringing the best out of them.
Before things get out of hand, here are some of the things you should never do to your kids,  which you think are acts of love;
Making them feel like Kings: It is important to make your kids feel special, but losing your authority to them will only have negative consequences. Asserting your authority means establishing borders, boundaries and limitations as you raise them. Although it is vital to entrust them with certain responsibilities, it is your duty as the parent to guide them through it and make a success of whatever they are given.
Stopping them from working: Work is essential in life; every responsible adult has to work to earn a living. Making them understand this is beneficial to their success as adults. Understandably, you may want to protect them from anything that is laborious, but teaching them the vital lesson of work will be more protective than destructive. Set expectations for them as they try to go to college. Let them appreciate earning something of value and feeling proud of this.
Entrusting them with too much money: It is very important for parent to stop entrusting their kids with too much money. Teach them to be prudent in their spending so that they can cope with whatever economic situation that may arise at a later age. Buying expensive jewelry for them and showering them with lots of money as pocket money in their early years will be too much for them to handle, and the end result will be a child who is not thankful for anything.
Not requiring them to be grateful: You may feel your child deserves everything he/she receives and owes no one a thing. But this does not stir an appreciative spirit in them. Teach your kids to always say thank you no matter how little what they receive. Let them get used to appreciating things, this will make them understand the importance of everything they are given.
Failing to establish boundaries: By nature, kids want to be pampered and spoiled. It is not your duty as parents to make this happen, rather, you are meant to make sure they become well behaved and likeable. To do this, do not let them have their way often, set limitations, restrictions and boundaries. If not, the child will become disrespectful and rude.
Giving in to what they want always: Be consistent in your ruling, never give in to the demand of your kids, no matter how much they pester you. It is important to remain persistent in dealing with your kids, let your first ruling be your final ruling. If you give in at some point, they will simply learn what your weak point is and will want to use that against you whenever they want something. If you say "No", mean it.
Withholding your child from being accountable: Your children should be accountable for their actions, make them understand the wrong in their action and also help them to correct it. It is a normal thing for your child to make mistakes, but not holding them accountable for these mistakes does not make them see the importance of learning from the mistakes and will always make them believe that what they are doing is right since mummy and daddy did not say anything about it..
Staying out of their lives: As children grow into adolescents, they often just want to be left alone. While it is important to give them space, it is also important to be there for them, even when they don’t want you to be. Showing unconditional love is the best way to ensure a strong relationship with your children as they grow into adulthood. They might screw up once in a while and you might be upset with them as they are with you. However, these are the times you need to be there the most for your child to ensure they grow up knowing they will always have your love and support.

BY: Mercy Kukah

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