SHE Forum Africa 2017: African Women Call to Action

SHE Forum Africa is a registered pan-Africa Women Development, Leadership and Lifestyle Organization which was founded by Inimfon Etuk, a versatile and resilient woman driven by purpose and a plan in helping others nurture good ideas into real opportunities. It is an organization that provides the perfect window to spark shifts in our continent’s value systems as they impact women across development and decision-making spheres.

Women from multiple generations came together on Thursday 25th May, 2017 at NAF Conference Centre in Abuja, Nigeria’s Capital City, for the 4th edition of SHE Forum Africa Conference; one of its kind in convergence of women whose voices, leadership antecedents, business accomplishments and entrepreneurial feats are disrupting traditional notions of gender, feminism and everything between.

The theme of the event was “Evolve or Be Left Behind”. The theme served as a reflective and dynamic call to action for women from all socio-economic backgrounds. Undoubtedly, what the WOMAN brings to the global development agenda is fortitude, a degree of conscientiousness, and the commitment to see things through. If there was ever a time when the wisdom and resilience of women was needed to address persisting development issues, especially as they affect women in Africa, it is now! SHE Forum Africa brings together women who represent the road traveled in the never-ending quest for self-actualization, personal fulfillment and earned success. 

As usual, Tozali crew was there to capture the highlights. 

Ways to Handle Difficult In-laws

I have come across many ladies who always say that they wish to marry a man whose mother is already dead because they cannot bear the stress often times caused by mother in laws.  If you are one of such ladies, then it is high time you start thinking of how to build a strong and lasting relationship with your in-laws.

You can do it, it is no rocket science. In this article, I am going to give you some tips on how to handle difficult in-laws.

As a young man or lady, it is important to think about all the joys, trials and tribulations that come along with marriage before tying the knot. When you get married, you did not just marry your husband or wife but you are getting married to their entire family.

If we were to do an estimate, one in every five wives despise their in-law (Mother-in-law). However, your relationship with your in-laws should be something you might never fail to ponder until after the wedding which might very well leave you looking for signs that your in-laws are toxic.

A relationship with your in-laws should be something you cherish and want to build on no matter how tricky and difficult they are. Try your best to be close to one or two persons in the family. It is important to note that there is a big difference between being toxic and just having different views and opinions. So, here are some tips that will help you handle difficult in-laws if you have one;

Don’t try to be too polite: If you are too polite with your in-laws there may not be room for you to create necessary boundaries. When boundaries are not created, your in-law can begin to talk, treat and push you around anyhow they like, when this happen, you won’t be able to express yourself anytime you are hurt or feel the need to talk about something itching you. Remember you need to be always nice in trying to get your point across.

Avoid stooping to her level: No matter how harsh your mother in-law or in-laws are, avoid fighting fire with fire. Anytime your in-laws bring on a fight, try as much as possible to avoid fighting back, never try to be rude or call them names, interact using mindfulness and in taking higher the roads without compromising how you will allow yourself to be treated.

Don’t take criticisms personally: Take criticism serious but never take it personal. Anytime your in-laws criticized you about doing something wrong try as much as possible to see if there is an element of truth in their criticism, if there is, then you should take corrections and if not then you let it roll right off you.

Have a way of dealing with your anger: Never allow your anger to consume you or else you will destroy yourself and your marriage. So, anytime your in-laws make you angry find a way of dealing with it. You can deal with your anger by taking a walk, watching a movie, listening to music or even visiting a friend. It is important to always turn to a trusted friend to get some things off your chest. Always find a way of dealing with your anger on a daily basis.

Limit your In-laws involvement in your life: You don’t need your in-law’s approval to live your life the way you want it. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get thumbs up from your in-laws. So, if your in-laws always get involve in every decision you make, you have the right to set the limit of their involvement in your life. Let them understand that you and your family have a right to a peaceful existence and you can make your decisions without them taking part in it. No body have the right to make your life or the life of your family miserable; and only you can make sure of that.

Gossip: It may be true that your in-laws gossip about you when you are not around either to friends, other family members, neighbours etc. if that is true, approach them and let them know that you are aware of the things they always say behind your back. Ask them if you have offended them to deserve such disrespect. Tell them that next time they have issue with you they should approach you directly instead of blanketing the whole world with gossip.

They intentionally make you feel bad: If your in-laws don’t like you, they will definitely do things to get on your nerves to intentionally make you feel bad. Even though this situation can be difficult and tough to deal with, you can walk your way through it by explaining to your in-laws that their actions and words hurts your feelings. If they refuse to change, then the best thing to do is to limit your interaction with them.

Try following these tips and in no time your difficult in-laws might become your best friends.

Thank me later.

By Mercy Kukah 

Sport News

Nigeria Young star Orji Okonkwo Is Destined for the Top of the World Football Says Oliver Arthur
The Italy based Ghanaian agent Arthur collaborated with former Nigeria International Danny Shittu and London based agent Kingston Femi Olaniran to get Flying Eagles star Orji Okonkwo a professional contract at Serie A Club Bologna. Okonkwo shone at the recent Viareggio Cup in Italy, scoring four goals in as many matches. He has also made his debut for the Bologna main team. “Africa has got talent and Okonkwo is one for the future. He has everything to succeed and I believe he is at the right club to make it to the top,” Arthur said. The young striker has already been compared to the legendary Barcelona and Cameroon star Samuel Eto’o. His turn of speed and power shots stood him out at the Viareggio U19 Cup.

Cristiano Ronaldo Pays Tribute to Young Boy Killed in Mexico Earthquake.

Cristiano Ronaldo has sent a tribute message to the grieving family of a young supporter Santiago Flores who died in the Mexico City earthquake. The four-time Ballon d’or winner tweeted a picture of himself holding a Los Blancos shirt on which he wrote “To my No 1 fan, Santiago”. It was reported by media outlets in Spain that the boy he dedicated the post to is Santiago Flores. A young Mexican who was killed while at school by the recent Mexican earthquake. His family reportedly wrote to Ronaldo to tell him what a huge fan he was. Ronaldo wrote on his post: “In this moment of pain, I send huge hugs to Santiago’s family and to all the families who have lost their loved.” Arsenal, West Ham and others sports stars and clubs have shown their solidarity by tweeting the hashtag FuerzaMexico (Strength to Mexico). More than 200 people have died after the 7.1 magnitude earthquake hit Mexico City on Tuesday, September 19. Arsenal, West Ham, and other club stars have shown their solidarity by tweeting the hashtag #FuerzaMexico (strength to Mexico).

Super Eagles Team B Coach Yusuf React to Nigeria’s Defeat to Ghana

Head coach of the Super Eagles has said that he is proud of his wards despite their embarrassing defeat against Ghana in the WAFU Cup final. Super Eagles were on September 24 disgraced in Cape Coast in the final of the 2017 West African Football Union (WAFU) championship losing 1-4 to the better side in the encounter and deserved to win the final. “We lost to a good team and they deserved to win because they took their chances and it was a good lesson for us. For me, the level of the competition was high. This was good preparation for us ahead of the Africa National Championship (CHAN). I’m not happy we lost but all the same I’m impressed by the performance of my players in this competition”. Yusuf explained.

World Most Expensive Player Earns a Staggering E3 Million ($1.3 Billion per Month)

Neymar who is consider the world most expensive player earns a whopping E3million per month going by his new contract in Paris Saint-Germain. German media outlet Der Spiegel have got their hands on a report that shows that the prolific superstar is earning a total annual salary of E36.8million for a day’s work. Neymar earns a mind blowing E100, 000 daily to showcase his talents for Les Parisiens. The document also reveals that PSG will pay Barcelona up to E214 million for the star forward over his five-year deal. He will also earn E4, 000 per hour and E66 per minutes according to the leaked document.

By Mercy Kukah 

Ways to handle a difficult Spouse

Relationships are works-in-progress and require a few course-corrections to reach their full potential. If you and your spouse are feeling the impact of anger issues, poor communication or an inability to compromise, then do not despair; you can improve your situation. Developing the tools of open and honest communication, learning to negotiate a compromise, and committing to change will get you back on the road to happiness. I had this former neighbor who have three boys. They fight none stop, from morning to late in the night when everyone else is trying to get some sleep. I often times wonder why they always fight. Could it be that t they did not know each other’s anger issues before they said I do? Or are they both trying to control each other? Whatever the case maybe, the kids are learning from them because on so many occasions I saw them being hostile and stubborn to people. It would be a different matter if you have a difficult spouse to handle because you will always have to deal with him and his problems or nagging attitude. Yes, it is not only women that nags; men do too.

Some women compare living with a difficult husband to living by an active volcano. One always lives in a constant state of alertness—always waiting for something to blow up. Even a small outburst can immediately throw you off-balance and ruin a perfectly lovely day for you. But one thing you have to keep in mind is that he is your husband and even if you sleep at night angry with him, you will wake up in the morning to see the same face. What difference does it make then? How do you handle a difficult husband?

Determine if confronting your husband is worth it: Maybe you are in the habit of confronting your husband when he gets angry then be rest assured that you won’t have peace of mind in your home. When your husband is at his worst, the best thing for you to do is to confront him in such a way that he will feel helpless and stop complaining at that spot. Even when you decide to confront him, do it in such a way that he will have a rethink and start being a good husband.

‘My husband is not a difficult man to handle but we do have some little fight sometimes’ said Mrs. Hannah Charles. Whenever I noticed that my husband is getting angry, I know that getting angry too will lead to a serious fight so I just keep my calm. I will move close to him and hug him, then whisper softly in his and say ‘come on now my love I am sorry just try and relax”. I know I am not at fault all the time but that way peace will reign’.

Whatever you want to say to him, say it with love: The more difficult something is to hear, the more gently and tenderly it must be said. Honesty without gentleness is brutal. Make sure that what you have to say needs to be said. Sometimes it is better to pray to the Almighty for wisdom when you want to talk to your husband. Remember that men are really very vulnerable. So, the calmer your voice is, the better.

Pick a good time to talk: Avoid early morning conversations when you or your spouse might be grumpy or trying to plan for the day ahead. Another thing is to try not to talk immediately when he gets home from work. Let him relax and settle down before you approach him. If you feel the best way to have a good conversation is by going out then tell him. Talking in public places might be beneficial. Your husband is less likely to get upset for fear of being embarrassed. Align as many positive things as you can to set the stage for positive communication.

Figure out what is really going on:  If you know that you haven’t been doing anything that would constitute your spouse’s negative responses, then it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. This is the perfect opportunity to practice your problem-solving skills. Sometimes it could be due to the problem of the woman being stubborn and all. So, the husband feels the best thing to do is to be difficult. According to a married woman who doesn’t want her name in print, she said she noticed that her husband became so difficult all of a sudden. I had to find out why he was always getting angry and taking it out on me. He decided to open up to be and told me that he is facing a lot if difficulties with his job. He was always down and I know I needed my husband back so I had to reassure him that all will be fine because I am with him. With time things started to get normal and he was back to being his normal self.

Conclusively, it may not be possible to "fix" a difficult partner; but with extra effort and patience, it is possible to change some of their behaviors for the better. Therefore, if you find yourself stuck in a losing battle with an unreasonable lover, try a few softening techniques. Change things up and build some good feelings into the discussion. Acknowledge and reward them for all of the good things they do. After that, rather than focusing on the bad and punishing them, direct them instead to what you would "prefer" they do. You might just have a more satisfying outcome.

Source: www.AttractionDoctor.com

Overall, N. C., Simpson, J. A., Struthers, H. (2013) Buffering attachment-related avoidance: Softening emotional and behavioral defenses during conflict discussions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104, 854-871.

By Pupwaya Timothy Dibal 

VIP MINERS: Be an Honoured Gold Investor

VIP Miners are a group of dedicated like-minds that started in January 2017 and have come together with a common goal of financial breakthrough. VIP Miners have an in-depth understanding of the Swissgolden investment and bonus programme. The team has developed a strategic structure that ensures transparency, growth and support to all members.

The team on the 13^th May 2017, organized a one-day event at Harrow Park Golf Club, Ahmadu Bello Way Wuse 11 Abuja, in the Aso View Hall of the venue. The event was a means to educate and sign in more people to earn money in Swissgolden.

No one loses his or her cash investing in Swissgolden. You can opt out and get your full refund or you may sell to a new client who wishes to do the next investment after verifying your account. This means there is no risk involved in Swissgolden, and there is no continuous re-investment to keep earning. Your first main table pay yields 2 times your initial investment.

The objective of this team is to explore all the opportunities available within the different tables of orders in Swissgolden as a TEAM, while the vision is to grow our consistently earning team members by 100% monthly.

With Swissgolden, be rest assured that you are on the right way to saying good-bye to poverty.

As usual, Tozali crew was there to capture the event. Find below the highlight.