Raising disciplined kids is the most
difficult thing ever. Kids sometimes do not agree with the decision of their
parents, they do what they like and drive you into screaming frenzy. If you
have such kids and are tired of screaming, why not try these strategies and
start screaming less. Here are few ways you can handle some of the situations without
having to scream.
When running late
The hardest part of the day for many moms is getting
the kids out of the house. You ask them to get dressed and put their shoes on,
they ignore you. You finally find your keys and are ready to go; they run off
and hide. It is all fun and games until you unleash the scream beast.It's
extremely frustrating when you're in a rush to get out the door and no one is
taking your concerns about staying on schedule seriously. You can't help but
feel insignificant, out of control, and burdened all at the same time.You
obviously going to have to drop what you're doing and force your kids' shirts
over their little heads yourself.
It is easy to forget
that young children have no concept of the consequences of running late. However,
repeating yourself over and over is not the solution. It makes them think that
you’re only playing games with them, or that they don't have to respond the
first time.
The
no-scream solution:
Rather than nagging your kids until you're at the point of shouting, just tell them it's
time to get ready once and then don't give any more reminders, Dr. Hutt
suggests. Say, "We're leaving in ten minutes. I hope you'll be dressed and
ready." If they are not, pick them up and put them in the car firmly, yet
gently, in whatever they are wearing. If your kids have to go to school in their pajamas, they will know you
mean business next time.
When Sibling Squabble
On the way to the park, your younger
child hits her older brother and the older one hits back immediately and they
both get physical attempting to pull off the roof of the car. Your temper goes
from zero to 60 in three seconds or less. No matter who "started it," it is almost
impossible to play referee when both kids are screaming and kicking, and the
situation becomes flat-out dangerous if their fighting is distracting you while
you are driving.
The no-scream solution:When things are already heated between your kids, having a
strongly negative reaction is like adding fuel to a fire; it will only escalate
the situation. Especially on the road where you cannot really shift your
attention and get involved, your initial instinct might be to yell, but try to
be responsive rather than reactive, Schafer recommends. After pulling over,
matter-of-factly let your kids know it is unsafe for you to drive while they
are fighting.Saysomething like, "I understand you're upset, but I can't go
anywhere until you calm down. When you've worked it out together, I can drive
again." Then sit quietly, read a book, or IM with friends until they have
chilled out. By staying collected, you make it clear that you are not going to
take sides, and you set an example for how your children should behave with
each other. The immediate lesson you are trying to impart is this: Calm cars
move; fighting cars stop. But the bigger message goes beyond driving. When
parents respond to children in ways that make them feel heard and understood
they are going to learn to treat others that way as well.
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