(Love Around the World)
The advent of modern technology has brought about many
tremendous positive changes in our daily lives. However, some negative aspects
of modern technology are being encountered especially in our relationship with
our spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. Our obsession with our smartphones
has not only changed the way we spend time with others, it has also changed the
way we behave, and has affected the way we feel and think.
We are creating and encouraging a culture of distraction and
isolation; and this increases the chances of being disconnected from people and
events around us. A lot of relationships have been ruined by people’s addiction
to the social media. This addiction can lead to connection with a past love or
crush, or even an unknown online date that may be half way across the globe,
while being totally estranged from people closer to you physically. This can be
detrimental both filial and romantic relationships.
Sometimes, partners exhaust
everything there is to discuss through internet chat while at work; it simply
means that one gets home at night to spend time with one’s spouse and there is
nothing to talk about because one has already spoken about everything all day
through social media.
Technology has become an integral part of our lives with more
of emailing, texting, tweeting, face-booking, etc. A recent survey by Facebook
found that the first thing 80% of people do in the morning is to check their
phones; the average users then go on to check their devices 110 times a day.
This must mean that we are more connected to one another than ever globally. But
what exactly does it mean to familial and romantic relationships? Are we giving
our partners the quality time and attention they need from us? Or are we
spending more time than we should in our own worlds with “always on
technology”?
Research conducted by Princeton Survey Research Associates
International on a sample of 2,252 American last year indicates cause for worry.
25% felt their partners were distracted by their phones when they are together.
Nnenna Obi, a Psychotherapist also takes on the same view.
She believes technology has a destructive value all of its own. “Viewing your
phone or tablet is a solitary exercise”, she says. We get into a relationship
to be with another person for lots of different reasons, but instead, we
exhaust the time chatting with friends on line. Technology can and is
destroying our idea of what a relationship is for. Checking emails or surfing
the web in the bedroom can impact negatively on couples’ intimacy and this
technology layer wasn’t in existence 15 years ago.
Today’s couples are busy and tired and there are all sorts of
reasons for them not to be intimate; having phone or tablet by the bed is yet
another barrier getting in the way. Time given to technology is sometimes time
taken from a partner; that is experienced as rejection if it is not discussed.
All aspects of the relationship, including intimacy, will suffer. A word of
advice to be taken is to make the bedroom a technology free zone. Bedrooms are
for sleep, pillow talk and intimacy.
Many people have complained that technology has become the
third party in their relationships. It has interfered in the relationship so
much so that two people can be sitting down together, but will be in their own
different worlds with their phones. Others feel their spouses don’t give them
the attention needed due to obsession with this new technology in the form of
smartphones.
In all that has been said, the advent of modern internet
technology is huge blessing on every aspect of our lives. The ability to use
the latest gadget and balance it with our relationship to achieve the best
should be our aim. Having the latest gadgets and software with no filial and
romantic relationships is always wrong.
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