The wedding Speech
Wedding
speech from girl to her in laws:
My dear new family, I thank you for
welcoming me in my new house.
Firstly, I must tell you that my
presence here should not change your life routines.
Those
who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it. Those cooking must keep
cooking. Those cleaning must keep cleaning. I will not disturb anybody’s
routine. As far as I’m concerned, I’m here only to eat fried rice and chicken,
have FUN & entertain your SON. Thank you.
The Class Test
Akpors, a lecturer in
Gwagalada, University of Abuja, decided to give his students a test. He asked
them to write the answers as he read out the questions. The Instructions says,
cancelled answers not allowed.
Akpors the Lecturer: Question 1: What is your
favorite food? [10 mrks]
Female
students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and all
sorts of Chinese cuisine.
Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you
prepare the food? [50 marks]
Huh!
immediately, the female students started cancelling and changing the foods to
beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomie, white rice with
no soup, eba with no soup, garri n kulli kulli…..heheh ehe Kasala bust !
Marriage Proposal
Man:
Baby, I love you, would you please marry me?
Woman: (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face)
I have waited more than 9yrs, I have prayed, fasted, sowed seeds, bought books
and listened to tapes, even went out of my way to be nice to every male specie
of marriageable age!
I went from a size 14 to a size 10, so that
when you see me you would love what you see. I uploaded only my best pictures
on Facebook, attended all the weddings, whether the invitation was direct or
indirect! The next place I was hoping to check was the moon, before you crawled
out, crawled out from the house directly next to mine! So it was you all this while.
The neighbor I said hello to every morning?
What
were you waiting for?
Do you
want to kill me before you reveal yourself?
Now be a man, get down on your knees and put
that ring on my finger!
How to Know Say You Get Chinese Phone
1. The
battery gets full after 3 minutes of charging.
2. It
will definitely have 2 SIMS.
3. The
phone has a TV, microwave, nail cutter, separate speakers, toothbrush, and lighter,
all inside
4. There
are some spelling mistakes e.g., Nokla, SamVang, Darkberry, iporn
5. You dey inside club dey buble and you can
still hear the caller.
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