Overtime, I
have heard couples claim that their best friends are their spouses. I have also
heard others who strongly advise against having your spouse as your best
friend. And so I ask:
Is your best
friend your spouse? Is it advisable to have another person as a best friend
besides your spouse? What are those qualities that should mark your spouse as
your best friend irrespective of your individual differences? On the other
hand, what are the reasons why you think a spouse shouldn’t double as a best
friend?
FEMI
KURODE: Being
a lover is a sacred thing. It's above and beyond friendship - even a best
friend. It means that you care about someone so much that you want to share
things with them that you can't share with anyone else. You share intimate
moments with them and trust that they will hold you safe and protect your
intimate details. In return, they do this for you. And together you share a
relationship that transcends simple friendship. And the new category of your
relationship can only be defined as pure love. You don't share this kind of
relationship with anyone else - not even your best friend. And you don't want
to anyway. It would violate the relationship you and your lover have.
LUCY ILOKO: I'm married to my best friend of 20
years. We actually bonded over our mutual love of muscle cars and sports. Sure,
he's much more than my "friend," but the fact that we share a deep
friendship underneath it all has been one of the most positive aspects of our
relationship.
While general relationship advice may work for
some issues, I firmly believe this is a matter of individualism, and saying
that a couple who happen to be best friends lack depth, demonstrates a lack of
understanding of how relationships work on a realistic and fundamental level.
IBRAHIM GEIDAM: I’m of the opinion that your spouse can’t go
for a best friend. In life as we grow our best friend changes at every stage of
our life. I can bet you that your best friend has changed over time; we all had
a different best friend in elementary school and in high school. And maybe you
had a different best friend in the university and right now. Even though you
may still think fondly of all the best friends you had, over time you went
through spells of losing touch with them. But your spouse is someone that you
should never lose touch with. If you have, you're not treating them like a spouse.
Spouses are always trying to get to know each other more and more. They do new
things together and explore life together through sickness and health and until
death do you part.
SULEIMAN
MOHAMMED:
A marriage is a passionate, intimate and sexual
relationship while a relationship with your best friend is platonic and
shouldn't be sexual (if it is, you need to tell your spouse about it). If your
spouse is only your best friend, then you're not treating them like a spouse.
Spouses are supposed to share a more intimate connection with each other. If
you're treating your spouse like a best friend, then you're negating this key
part of your relationship.
LUCKY INYANG: Nothing better than having your best friend as
a spouse. I did not. I let physical attraction and finances rule my decision. During
the hard days, your spouse looks and hotness will mean nothing. Liking a person
is first and foremost. Inevitably, the romantic phase fades and you are left
with a man who feels cheated because the sex went downhill and a woman who
wishes her husband didn't base his love on how recently he got some. Ladies,
don't let looks consume you. It will mean nothing 10 years down the road. You
want a very good friend as your spouse.
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