JOKES!!!

                                                      

                                              THE STRANGER

A stranger sent Akpos a text message… “Good evening sir, how was your day? I am so sorry for disturbing you. I got your number from someone you know. I urgently need your assistance; I need some money, which is paramount to my life, and I do not know if you can assist me with any amount sir. You can talk to me through text message because I am deaf.

Akpos quickly replied the message, “Sorry please, I can’t see what you wrote. I’m blind!”

                                            HORSE AND ZEBRA

TEACHER: Ali, can you differentiate between a horse and a zebra?

Ali:               Yes sir

TEACHER: (brings a picture of a horse) which one is this?

 Ali: It is a horse, sir.

TEACHER: Excellent! (Now brings a Zebra) And which one is this?

Ali: It is still a horse sir, but now it is wearing pajamas.

                                             POLICE AND THEIR FUNNY QUESTIONS

POLICE: Why is your laptop bag empty; you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag abi?    Oya, enter the motor!

POLICE: Oga your Range Rover Sport car is fine o. Oya, use it to hit that wall there let us see if your airbag is working. (Man refuses!)

Police: Oh! So you don’t want to use it to hit the wall abi? Oya, park!!! I say park before I break your head with my baton.

POLICE: Why is your car not having A/C? You want to use heat to kill yourself. You want to commit suicide abi? Oga, park well!

POLICE:  The picture on your driver’s license, you carry afro (lots of hair), why do you now carry low cut? Come down now!

POLICE:   Why do you have fertilizer in your boot? You are growing weed abi? Follow us to the station!

MAN: He snatched my WALLET and I was about to shout “THIEF” when three HEAVY slaps landed on my face. I did not see anything for thirty minutes except STARS.

POLICEMAN: Can you describe the stars?

                                                LANDLORD’S VISIT

This brief conversation ensued between Adams and his landlord…

LANDLORD: (knocks at Adams door)

ADAMS: (Opens the door)

LANDLORD: Hey man, I’m looking for my house rent?

ADAMS: You can come in let us look for it together

                                           90-YEAR-OLD SECRET

Someone asked an old man: Even after 90 years, you still call your wife ‘Darling’, ‘Honey’, ‘Love’. What is the secret?

OLD MAN: I forgot her name 10 years ago and I am scared to ask her                

                                           PRINCIPAL’S DAUGHTER

MUSA: Isn’t our principal an idiot?

 GIRL: Do you know who I am?

 MUSA: No…

GIRL: I am his daughter.

MUSA: Do you know me?

GIRL: No!

MUSA: Thank God.