SURVIVAL TIPS FOR EVERY LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
1
Allow yourselves time to explore your own individual interests. After being used to spending your time together as a couple, it may
seem strange that a large segment of your week is now spent as an individual as
opposed to as a pair. The choices you make in terms of how you spend your time
differ so greatly when alone. There’s nothing like going through life as a
team, having a support system with someone by your side, but this is not to say
you should not take advantage of your time as an individual. Although you are
not truly separating your lives when you are apart, and it is quite important
for your relationship that this is not the case, you are in a situation where
the choices you make are now completely free from compromise.
2 Discover more ways to connect and
communicate. How do you communicate with your
partner when you are apart? As a couple, a quick “do you need anything
from the shop?” or “I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” is important because nine
times out of ten, it’s easier to send a quick text. When you are apart, you
would have some of your most heartfelt and soul searching conversations over
the phone and you are closer for it. This is purely due to the fact that, not
only do you miss each other but, by definition, talking on the phone is time
for talking and nothing else. Just because we are in the age of technology does
not mean you should abandon the first and possibly one of the most romantic
forms of communication: the love letter. It can be heartfelt words of love, or
simply wishing your partner a good week. In an age of instant communication, a
letter is always an unexpected and romantic gesture.
3 Be appreciative of your partner. This seems like such obvious advice, but it’s strange how often we
forget these simple things. As a couple spending time together, you can often
indirectly start to annoy each other, or little character traits appear that
you never seemed to notice before. You unintentionally start taking the other
for granted, and the things you found so special and so attractive are pushed
to the back of your brain. But absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
When you are forced to spend time apart from your partner, the times you
reconnect are like revisiting your ‘honeymoon period.
5 Show an interest in each other’s daily
lives. It is strange how much more you are inclined
to ask questions and inquire about your partner’s daily life after being apart
five or more days at a time, even the little things like their daily commute or
what they had for lunch. When you spend every moment together, you often
neglect to ask about the smaller things in your partner’s daily life because
you feel like a part of it. But, just as we have learnt to embrace our own
individuality in a relationship, it is important to respect and show interest
in your partner’s individual life as well. You may instinctively rely on your
partner to tell you the highlights of their day, but there’s nothing like the
feeling of a loved one inquiring about these simple things before you even
think to tell them.
8 Plan for the future. So, moving in together and settling down may have to be put on hold.
There is no reason to lose sight of what you want from the future and what you
want as a couple. Use the time to really decide on what you both want. Plan and
compromise now and when the time comes, it will save time, decision making and
arguments. In any relationship, it is important to plan ahead. There is always
a brighter future waiting for you and planning towards it makes life positive
and motivating. Sharing that excitement with your partner makes for a stronger
bond.
9 Learn to resolve disagreements
quickly. You’d be wrong for thinking that being
apart would mean that you have fewer disagreements than when you are together.
Arguments will always happen. But arguing during your precious time together
feels like a terrible waste of that time, or arguing over the phone and not
knowing how the other person is truly feeling will leave you feeling helpless
and raw.
Firstly, use this as an excuse not to argue
at all. You have more control over it than you think. We argue because our
first instinct to solve a disagreement is to argue! It doesn’t have to be that
way, but it takes work and it takes practice.
Learn to resolve your disagreements quickly
to save yourself a prolonged “off” period, which is just a further waste of
your time together. This is usually done by reminding yourself that you are not
always right, and the issue isn’t that important.
Don’t forget that you can always agree to
disagree, or cool down and revisit the conversation when you’ve both had time
to reflect. These are all methods we can use in any relationship, because
regardless of how much time you spend together, arguing is usually a waste of
time.
10 Get over your jealousy and trust
issues. It’s hard to trust your partner when they
spend a lot of time in an environment that is alien to you and with new friends
that you are unfamiliar with. Remind yourself that making new friends is one of
the things that will make being away from home more bearable. Let your partner
have fun, and don’t forget to make regular plans of your own.
Don’t obsess! No one likes a bunny boiler.
If you are feeling insecure, it will only make you feel worse to text and check
Facebook every two minutes. Take a step back from your phone and your computer.
If you demand to know what your partner is doing all the time, they won’t thank
you for it. What’s more, you will end up creating all sorts of stories in your
head, if they don’t have time to reply to your messages! Let them be and ask
about it later.
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