RELATIONSHIPS AND SEX

Sex is not love and love is not sex; and neither should be used as a bargaining tool in order to get what you want out of a relationship. For example, often girls will have sex to feel loved and guys will declare their love in order to have sex, but then both are done with selfish motives.

Love and sex are often used synonymously, yet they have very little in common without the missing link- commitment. Love without commitment does not equal love. The operative word here is commitment. Sex is about a commitment to love in the married sense of the word, “until death do us part”, and physical intimacy in any other case does not equal commitment but consequences. In case you have not figured it out by now, love and sex can be ultra confusing. They both involve feelings and trying to fulfill natural desires, but neither one complements the other without a vow to commitment. This is what this article is all about; helping you sort through the confusion and find truthful answers to puzzling questions about sex, love, and security.

Girls, love is a mystifying emotion that makes you blind, deaf and mute. Blind to faults, deaf to negatives, and mute when it comes to voicing your own opinion in fear of rejection. The other thing about love is that it introduces feelings you never felt before; awakening a yearning for closeness- not necessarily of a sexual nature but often of a snuggling kind that signifies, “you’re someone special that I deeply care for”. To girls snuggling offers security but to guys snuggling mostly implies you are one step closer to having sex. Girls and guys think and respond differently. Girls are looking to be loved, and guys are looking to be physically satisfied.

•   Matter of Fact          

An old saying goes like this: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” in other words, why should a guy invest in what he can have for nothing? Something cheap is not appreciated, but the more something costs you, the more you value it.

•  Get a clue

Establish a value system, beginning with yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will. How you esteem yourself is how others will esteem you. This relates to all areas of life, especially sex.

I recently asked my friends what they think about sex. And one of the questions I asked was, “what do you expect to receive from sex?” they all answered “commitment”. I also asked if it did fulfil what they were expected or wanted. Only 2 said “yes, it was what I expected or wanted.

The bottom line is sex does not lead to commitment. Girls have sex to hold onto their guy, IT HARDLY WORKS.

 Sex should never be used selfishly, remember, true love is not selfish, does not use others and does not get even, but instead it protects, honour's, and cherishes the object of its affection.

By Maimuna Bagudu.