PAY YOUR DUES TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Most people will begin to think “what does it mean for me to pay my dues”? “Does it mean I have to pay money in order to have a successful marriage/relationship”? But paying your dues in a relationship is not all that matters. Yes money is important because no one wants to marry someone that is broke or always dependent on his or her partner for financial aid all the time. What most people consider to be very important in a marriage is financial success, career success, the designers clothes you wear or even by knowing the top people in the government sector.

This is the number one problem we are having about relationship and marriage. People tend to spend little time with their partners because they feel that their career is much more important. Imagine a singer, spending hours or even the whole day in the studio but spends few minutes or even just an hour with his or her partner. What will be the outcome of the relationship/marriage? People acquire more knowledge, spend money to gain more knowledge and skills about their career but they neglect their marriage/relationship, forgetting that there is no other career as the husband and wife career or mother and father career. If only people can take relationship and marriage very important as they take their career there won’t be high percentage of divorce or heartbreaks. Are you ready to pay your dues to have a wonderful and successful relationship/marriage? If your answer is yes, then read through and you will be smiling every day in your relationship/marriage.

The first thing you need to know is:

1. A successful marriage or relationship comes from years of hard work. Let’s relate it to your school days; you spent 6 years in school studying Medicine. And in those 5 years, they are years of hard reading, studying day and night and even using money to buy candles so that you will come out with flying colours. You didn’t just stay in your room during that period, so the same thing applies to your marriage/relationship. You can’t just close all doors to which you can learn about relationship/marriage and expect to have a happy one. You need to know the dos and don’ts and apply them in your relationship.

2. Stand up when you fall: You can’t just close your heart because you have failed in your previous relationship/marriage. You can fall as hard as you have never imagined, but that doesn’t mean your life has ended or you will swear never to have anything to do with a man or woman.  For example: let’s say you are preparing for an interview in a very big company but at the end of the interview you didn’t pass because you didn’t prepare very well for it. You can’t just decide and say you won’t submit your curriculum vitae elsewhere just because of your past experience. You have made the mistakes, you learnt your lesson and you are ready to make amend by preparing very well for another interview. So it is when it comes to marriage/relationship, you need to think about what you have done wrong and make it right in your next relationship/marriage. Most single ladies go through lots of heartbreaks because they don’t think, rather they just act. You will see a lady being in four different relationships in less than a year but she definitely wants a perfect relationship. How can you possibly get that?  She is not ready to stress herself to work, study or acquire the basic knowledge when it comes to having a successful relationship. It is better for one to stress himself or herself by paying relationship/marriage dues because at the end you will be the one enjoying it.

3. Be willing to make sacrifices: There are lot of sacrifices you need to make before you can have a successful marriage/relationship. You need to let go of some things if you want to be happy with your spouse.  Remember that once you've decided to date or marry someone, you have to forget the “I” for “WE". Whatever that your spouse doesn’t like and want you to stop; you have to let it go. Being in love is all about sacrificing what you love doing in order to make your spouse happy. You must be ready to sacrifice your short term goals for  long term goals. Do you know what your short term goals are when it comes to relationship? They are staying away from having multiple men or women as your partner, staying out late, drinking and a lot of other things. The long term goal is to get yourself a good husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend and then enjoy the intimacy, love, fun; marriage/relationship and you will be successful.

4. Endure whatever comes with a relationship or marriage: You want a girl or guy, husband or wife so badly? Then you have to endure all the challenges that come with it. There is no perfect relationship; there must be definitely some hitches that will come with it. It also takes someone that wants to have a successful marriage/relationship to endure. Winners never quit and when you endure you will be happy at the end that you didn’t give up.

5. Respect your partner’s opinion: Respect is very important in any relationship, be it intimate, business or family relationship. No one can always be right that is why you must pay attention to your partner’s opinion and make them see reasons in a polite and loving manner why it should not be accepted when you know it will not pay off. When two people who know so much about themselves decide to leave under the same roof, there is bound to be disagreement which turns to disrespect if they are not careful. No one must feel like he or she is superior above the other in any relationship, the respect must be mutual if the marriage must be successful. The man should know the part to play and his place in the relationship likewise the woman, both of them should not cross their boundaries nor neglect the role they ought to play. Respect is the foundation of love in any marriage, when you see a successful marriage, look deeply and you will find the full presence of respect.

6. Be Appreciative: To ladies, your husband or boyfriend may not cook, clean and take care of the kids as you would. When he takes on a task, though, you have less say in how it gets done and vice versa, say "thank you” and encourage him to do better next time. Teach him what he ought to know and make him understand what he ought to understand, do this without being harsh on him, do this with love and care.