WAYS TO MAINTAIN A STABLE RELATIOSHIP

It has become a norm to see couples begin their relationship on a rosy note and after some time, things change to the surprise of many (friends and family). No matter how long a relationship lasts, it should be able to keep up while flourishing in love, laughter and friendship. There shouldn’t be an expiring date for any true relationship as we see happening these days. When two people who are attracted to each other come together, love should be their binding force especially when it is genuine beyond doubt. See ways that can help you maintain a stable relationship with your partner.

1.  Do the things you did the first year you started dating.

As the months and years roll on, we tend to get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our partner. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner and start doing them again. Let everyday be like the first day, let every feeling be like the first feeling. That way, your relationship will not hit the rock and even when it does, it won’t break.

 2. Ask for what you want.

Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and immediately get shattered. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the stability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.

  3. Don't ask “how was your day.”

At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will produce a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your friendship but instead, it damages it because you are losing the opportunity for you both to regularly connect in small ways.  Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, it will also help you have greater insight into your significant other.

4. Create a weekly ritual to check in with one another.

It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you  would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. 

 5. Get creative about the time you spend together.

Break out of the “dinner and a movie” routine and watch how a little innovation can truly rejuvenate your relationship. If you are on a budget and can’t go big, Jump on the internet to look for “cheap date ideas” and be blown away at the number of options.  Try babysitting together. You will both find it interesting to baby sit your toddler.

6. Get it on.

Sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is up to you and it's important that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent displeasure. It is rare to see both partners “in the mood” at the same time, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to always say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel like it, the best thing you can do is to postpone.

 7. Seek to understand ... not agree.

Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we're invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective instead of waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a lingering frustration.

 8. Make your apology count.

It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of what you think you did or didn’t do.