RELATIONSHIP STAGES All COUPLES GO THROUGH

Have you ever met a couple who seemed like they were going to stay together forever, but ended up breaking up a few years later? Perhaps, in all probability, they went wrong in one of these stages of relationship. Are you in a new relationship? Or you are in a seasoned relationship with someone you’ve been with for several years? It doesn’t matter how long your relationship has lasted, because all the relationships will fit into one of these relationship stages. Find your own relationship stage here, and it’ll definitely help you understand your own love life better.

 Infatuation stage- This is the first stage in every relationship. It always starts with a strong attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other. Both of you may be sexually attracted to each other, or both of you may just love each other's company. In this stage, both of you do not pay attention to each other’s flaws  but only focus on each other’s good sides. Most people believe that infatuation is not the real love, meaning, emotions shown during this stage is not the actual one. There is a tendency that you guys will get carried away by your emotions, not being able to discern what is wrong from right.

Understanding Stage- In this stage, both of you start getting to know each other better. You have long conversations with your partner that stretch late into the night, and everything about your partner interests and fascinates you. You talk about each other’s families, exes, likes and dislikes and secrets, and life seems so beautiful and romantic. You both get to a point where you believe you know your partner too well that you can predict their next move and your prediction comes out accurate.

Stage of disturbances- This stage usually forces its way into a happy romance after a few months of blissful courting. Do you remember the first fight or angry disagreement you and your partner had? For the first time ever in the relationship, both of you confront each other over a conflict, even though it’s sorted out quickly. This stage is normal and every one in a relationship comes face to face with it at some point in their relationship.

 The opinion maker- In this stage, both of you create opinions about each other. As the months pass by, both of you know what to expect from each other, and you make an assumption about your partner’s commitment towards the relationship. When these opinions and expectations about your partner differ now and then in real life, it can leave you happy or depressed. You don’t expect your man to buy you flowers, but he does. You feel happy. At the same time, you expect him to pick you up from the airport on time, but he arrives an hour later because he forgot all about picking you up. It depresses you. Bear in mind that things will not always happen just as you want them to happen. Your partner is human and that makes him or her imperfect sometimes.

Moulding Stage- You have your own expectations from an ideal partner. And in this stage, both of you try hard to mould each other to fit your own wants in a perfect partner. This stage has a lot to do with give and take, and both partners constantly try to convince each other to change their behaviour towards the growth of the relationship. This is a power struggle, and one that can end the relationship if both partners are domineering. In this stage, patience and communication with your partner is very essential because you need the both to mould your relationship carefully without breaking or destroying it.

The happy stage- If the relationship survives the moulding stage, both of you may have changed for each other and understood each other’s expectations. In this stage, the relationship moves along perfectly and both of you may be blissfully happy with each other. Almost always, this is the stage when both of you feel like a perfect match. You may even decide to get engaged or get married. This happy stage is also the stage of attachment when both of you truly feel connected to each other and love each other immensely.

The stage of doubts- It’s been several years since both of you have been in a relationship with each other and somewhere along the way, doubts start to creep in. The intensity of the doubts depend on how happy both of you are in the relationship. You start to think of your past relationships, your exes, and other prospective partners. You tie your happiness in life with your relationship. If you’re unhappy, you blame it on the relationship. In this stage, you start comparing your relationship with other relationships. Would your relationship survive this stage? It definitely could, as long as your relationship is based on the foundation of love and isn’t repetitive.

The sexual exploration stage- This is the stage when your sex life starts to play a vital role. Both your sex drives may change, and one of you may get disinterested in sex. In this stage, you either give up on passionate sex or constantly look for ways to make sex more exciting. If sexual interests start differing here, one of you may end up having an affair. But on the other hand, if you find creative ways to make sex more exciting, your relationship could get better and bring both of you a lot closer.

The stage of complete trust- This is the happy stage when both of you love each other and trust each other completely. But at the same time, the trust in each other could also turn into taking each other for granted. In this stage, both of you know the direction of the relationship and both of you are completely happy with each other and find it easy to predict each other’s behaviour and decisions. As pleasant as this final stage of love may be, it’s still no excuse to take each other for granted or stop appreciating each other, because emotions can be rekindled by someone else at any time if you fail to express your romance to your lover. If you have been in a relationship for a while, you may have experienced all or most of these relationship stages. And if you’re still in a young love, don’t let the dark side of these relationship stages scare you.

Eight Nigerian Celebrities who left Fame for Motherhood

For these celebrity mums,  motherhood comes first before fame. They choose waking up 5 minute, changing nasty diapers and soothing screaming babies, over round-the-clock acting. Some are back to acting while others are not yet back to acting. They are still enjoying the happiness and joy of motherhood.

Below are the names of eight celebrities who dumped fame for motherhood:

Dakore Egbuson: Nollywood actress, Dakore Egbuson was hot on the movie scene back then. Then she got married and decided to take a break from the movie scene.

“Motherhood is awesome and challenging but it completes me. It makes me appreciate my mum a lot more. Now, I know what she went through to have me and my four other siblings”, she once spoke on motherhood.

Dakore is back now and recently starred in Mo Abudu’s Fifty.

Regina Askia: Former beauty queen and actress ditched the glitz and glamour for a quiet life as a nurse with her kids. She also recently unveiled her website designed to showcase her work in health, nursing, education as well as her new brand image.

Georgina Onuoha: Before there was Tonto or any other Nollywood actress, we had Georgina Onuoha on the TV screen until she ditched it for a quiet life with her ex- husband and kids.

Omoni Oboli: In 1996, Nollywood filmmaker Omoni took a break from acting to give birth to her three handsome sons.

Victoria Inyama: One of the most promising starlets of her time, Victoria decided to give it all away for a married life far off in the United States of America.

Sandra Achums: Sandra Achums was a very popular actress back then but she dumped fame for marriage. She relocated to Germany in 2011 where she secretly married a German based Nigerian Businessman.

Rita Nzelu: Known as one of the pioneer actresses in Nollywood, Rita starred in “living in Bondage” where she played the role of Tina. Nzelu however quit acting and relocated to London. Happily married with kids, she still remains something to talk about.

Tonto Dikeh: Tonto Dikeh gave birth early this year and since then she has been missing from our TV screen. In fact! She stopped acting ever since she got married to her heartthrob, Oladunni Churchill

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

Kenneth Okonkwo Honours Wife with His PhD & Actor of the year Awards

Popular Nollywood actor, Kenneth Okonkwo who is also a producer, lawyer, evangelist, politician an diplomat  has also bagged a PhD. The actor took to instagram to post picture of him receiving a PhD with the Caption. “Dr Kenneth Okonkwo, being decorated with his doctorate degree by the president of the institute of chartered economists of Nigeria". Fans have been congratulating the top actor on his impressive feat in their comments. He also won actor of the year 2016 at the peace achievers award.

The excited father of a handsome baby boy shared the award with his gorgeous wife as he tagged her “wife of the year”, he wrote, “Ifeoma means good woman. We are in this for better, for better and for better. I was decorated the actor of the year but I decorate you the wife of the year. Remain beautiful IJN”

Congratulations to you Dr Kenneth Okonkwo.

Janet Jackson Flaunts Baby Bump

50 year old singer Janet Jackson is now proud to flaunt her baby bump. The singer who is going to be a mother for the first time at the age of 50 gave a glimpse of her growing baby bump while leaving a super market where she went shopping for her baby on the way in London. The expectant mother has been indoor most of the time of her pregnancy based on doctor’s order.

Empress Njamah and Timaya spotted together

Ex-lovers Empress Njamah and Timaya seem to be back with each other after their romance crashed on sour note years back. They both resolved to prolonged media war with both talking to the media over what they would have lost if they had ended up marrying each other.

 Timaya has said one of his greatest regrets was having Empress as his girlfriend while Empress replied him saying that she would have made her mother the saddest woman on the face of this earth if she had married Timaya.

Well, that is all in the past now as Empress and Timaya are back at being friends. No more bad blood! Timaya posted a picture of them together on his Instagram page with caption "it’s always a pleasure seeing you my dear friend. EMPEE”.

Ibinabo Fiberesima Returns to Nollywood.

Nollywood actress, Ibinabo Fiberesima who has been off the screen for a while is currently on a movie set in Gombe. Months after her release from jail, Ibinabo returns to Nollywood.

Recall that in April, the court of Appeal, sitting in Lagos granted two million naira bail to embattled Ibinabo pending the determination of her appeal at the Supreme Court over five years imprisonment slammed on her for manslaughter. Ibinabo was sent to jail on march 11 by the state court of appeal after validating the five years jail term handed down to the actress by the state high court over the 2005 accident in which her car killed one Dr Giwa.

Kannywood Actress Rahama Sadau, Expelled from Hausa Film Industry

Top Kannywood actress, Rahama Sadau has been expelled from Hausa film industry by the Motion Pictures Practitioners Association of Nigeria. Sadau was expelled for featuring in a romantic musical video by Jos born musician ClassiQ.

The statement signed by the secretary of the association, Salisu Mohammed, also warned other actors and actresses to henceforth follow the rules binding their participation in the Kannywood film industry.

As at the time of filing this report, Sadau apologized in a letter she posted on her Instagram page. Sadau said, she could not have played her role in the music video to hurt anyone.

“To those who I have offended in any way, shape or form and who I have caused any anxiety by featuring in the said music video, I sincerely apologize”, she wrote.

“I may have fallen short of some people’s expectations but it was never my intention. I make no excuses for my actions and I take full responsibility”, Rahama said.

The Kannywood star actress also thanked her fans for standing by her. She also appreciated the advice she received.

PAY YOUR DUES TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Most people will begin to think “what does it mean for me to pay my dues”? “Does it mean I have to pay money in order to have a successful marriage/relationship”? But paying your dues in a relationship is not all that matters. Yes money is important because no one wants to marry someone that is broke or always dependent on his or her partner for financial aid all the time. What most people consider to be very important in a marriage is financial success, career success, the designers clothes you wear or even by knowing the top people in the government sector.

This is the number one problem we are having about relationship and marriage. People tend to spend little time with their partners because they feel that their career is much more important. Imagine a singer, spending hours or even the whole day in the studio but spends few minutes or even just an hour with his or her partner. What will be the outcome of the relationship/marriage? People acquire more knowledge, spend money to gain more knowledge and skills about their career but they neglect their marriage/relationship, forgetting that there is no other career as the husband and wife career or mother and father career. If only people can take relationship and marriage very important as they take their career there won’t be high percentage of divorce or heartbreaks. Are you ready to pay your dues to have a wonderful and successful relationship/marriage? If your answer is yes, then read through and you will be smiling every day in your relationship/marriage.

The first thing you need to know is:

1. A successful marriage or relationship comes from years of hard work. Let’s relate it to your school days; you spent 6 years in school studying Medicine. And in those 5 years, they are years of hard reading, studying day and night and even using money to buy candles so that you will come out with flying colours. You didn’t just stay in your room during that period, so the same thing applies to your marriage/relationship. You can’t just close all doors to which you can learn about relationship/marriage and expect to have a happy one. You need to know the dos and don’ts and apply them in your relationship.

2. Stand up when you fall: You can’t just close your heart because you have failed in your previous relationship/marriage. You can fall as hard as you have never imagined, but that doesn’t mean your life has ended or you will swear never to have anything to do with a man or woman.  For example: let’s say you are preparing for an interview in a very big company but at the end of the interview you didn’t pass because you didn’t prepare very well for it. You can’t just decide and say you won’t submit your curriculum vitae elsewhere just because of your past experience. You have made the mistakes, you learnt your lesson and you are ready to make amend by preparing very well for another interview. So it is when it comes to marriage/relationship, you need to think about what you have done wrong and make it right in your next relationship/marriage. Most single ladies go through lots of heartbreaks because they don’t think, rather they just act. You will see a lady being in four different relationships in less than a year but she definitely wants a perfect relationship. How can you possibly get that?  She is not ready to stress herself to work, study or acquire the basic knowledge when it comes to having a successful relationship. It is better for one to stress himself or herself by paying relationship/marriage dues because at the end you will be the one enjoying it.

3. Be willing to make sacrifices: There are lot of sacrifices you need to make before you can have a successful marriage/relationship. You need to let go of some things if you want to be happy with your spouse.  Remember that once you've decided to date or marry someone, you have to forget the “I” for “WE". Whatever that your spouse doesn’t like and want you to stop; you have to let it go. Being in love is all about sacrificing what you love doing in order to make your spouse happy. You must be ready to sacrifice your short term goals for  long term goals. Do you know what your short term goals are when it comes to relationship? They are staying away from having multiple men or women as your partner, staying out late, drinking and a lot of other things. The long term goal is to get yourself a good husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend and then enjoy the intimacy, love, fun; marriage/relationship and you will be successful.

4. Endure whatever comes with a relationship or marriage: You want a girl or guy, husband or wife so badly? Then you have to endure all the challenges that come with it. There is no perfect relationship; there must be definitely some hitches that will come with it. It also takes someone that wants to have a successful marriage/relationship to endure. Winners never quit and when you endure you will be happy at the end that you didn’t give up.

5. Respect your partner’s opinion: Respect is very important in any relationship, be it intimate, business or family relationship. No one can always be right that is why you must pay attention to your partner’s opinion and make them see reasons in a polite and loving manner why it should not be accepted when you know it will not pay off. When two people who know so much about themselves decide to leave under the same roof, there is bound to be disagreement which turns to disrespect if they are not careful. No one must feel like he or she is superior above the other in any relationship, the respect must be mutual if the marriage must be successful. The man should know the part to play and his place in the relationship likewise the woman, both of them should not cross their boundaries nor neglect the role they ought to play. Respect is the foundation of love in any marriage, when you see a successful marriage, look deeply and you will find the full presence of respect.

6. Be Appreciative: To ladies, your husband or boyfriend may not cook, clean and take care of the kids as you would. When he takes on a task, though, you have less say in how it gets done and vice versa, say "thank you” and encourage him to do better next time. Teach him what he ought to know and make him understand what he ought to understand, do this without being harsh on him, do this with love and care.

EXTRA-ORDINARY HEALTH BENEFITS OF BITTER KOLA

Bitter kola is found in several parts of Nigeria. The kola is about 3-4 cm in length. It has an ellipsoid shape. A deep brown peel covers it. This peel is removed before it is eaten. Anytime you eat this fruit, it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth that can last for five to ten minutes, hence the name bitter kola.  Its biological name is "Garcinia kola" and belong to the family of "Guittiferal". The Hausa call it Na Miji-Goro, the Yoruba call it Orogbo, while it is called Aki ilu by the Igbo.

Bitter kola is known for its antibiotic functions, it is very effective in the treatment of many diseases. The fruit itself and the bark of its tree have been used for centuries in traditional medicines to treat many forms of sicknesses and allergies.

Bitter kola has been known for ages to relieve coughs, hoarseness, and throat troubles, some say that it also aids digestion. It is said to be a remedy for dysentery, osteoarthritis and antidote against poisoning. Bitter kola is such an amazing fruit! It is usually eaten raw, but whether eaten raw or cooked you can still benefit greatly from its high nutritional contents.

Eating one piece of bitter kola in a day will help in the treatment of low libido, low sperm count, erectile dysfunction and arthritis. It is also used in treating hangover, improving lung function and knee osteoarthritis among others.

Read on to find out more extra-ordinary health benefits of bitter kola,

Health Benefit for Malaria- Considerable experimental studies found the chemical contents in bitter kola have anti-malaria properties. Traditional healers have also for ages prescribed bitter kola for the treatment of malaria infections. Kolaviron, which is the powerful chemical compound found in bitter kola, is responsible for killing malaria parasites and curing the malaria.

Benefit for Male Fertility- Bitter kola is believed to cure impotence. Frequent eating of bitter kola can help boosts sexual performance in men.

Health Benefit for Glaucoma (Eye pressure)- An increase in eye pressure can lead to glaucoma; eye drops that contain 0.5 percent extract of Garcinia kola have been proven to be very effective in treating eye pressure. This eyedrops, when applied twice a day regularly, can significantly reduce eye pressure.

Health Benefit for HIV- Bitter kola is a very good antibiotic which can be effective in the treatment of HIV and AIDS. A research by the Nigeria Natural Medicine Development Agency (NNMDA), told the news Agency of Nigeria (NAN) that bitter kola could be used in treating opportunistic infections associated with HIV. Bitter kola is highly recommended in the treatment of HIV and Aids because of its antibacterial, detoxification, and cleansing properties. There is a chemical in bitter kola called saponin which is responsible for its cleansing effect. It is also used as tonic for the liver and it enhances the functions of the liver and gall bladder.

Health Benefit for Osteoarthritis- Osteoarthritis is the most common form of arthritis characterized by pain, inflammation and limited movement in the joints, the causes of osteoarthritis can include joint injury, obesity, and aging. Many arthritis patients prefer natural herbal medicines to other pain relievers and medications. Garcinia kola significantly reduced inflammation and pain and increased joint movement in people that have osteoarthritis symptoms. Garcinia kola works well as a result of its antioxidant properties.

Food Poisoning-   When food is suspected to be contaminated by bacteria or someone accidentally eats food that was poisoned, traditional healers often recommend that such persons can chew bitter kola immediately after eating the poison because it usually prevents the development of any infection or poisoning. Herbalists also recommend that, the seed and the bark of bitter kola should be eaten together in cases where food poisoning is suspected, it helps to detoxify the system. Bitter kola is not only anti poison, it also has the ability to repel evil spirits according to traditional beliefs and it has spiritual benefits.

Why not try and eat at least one piece of bitter kola a day so that you can also benefit from its extra-ordinary health benefits.

THE WONDERS OF IDANRE HILL

Nigeria is a great country with abundant natural resources. There are several ancient places in Nigeria which tell stories of how rich a country we are and those places can be tourist sites if well-known and properly taken care of. Here are places in Nigeria which are not known for people to visit, yet they have great potentials for tourism.  Let’s take a look at these places and you will be marvelled.

Idanre Hill – Oke Idanre, Ondo State

Idanre Hill is one of the most beautiful natural landscapes in Nigeria.  It houses a unique ecosystem upon which the cultural landscape has integrated. On getting to the entrance of the hill you will see a great tree at the entrance of the ancient city of Idanre called the IRAYE TREE, before you can now take the steps to the great city beyond the hills of Idanre.  Added to Idanre Hill is the fact that the entire people of Idanre lived on these boulders for almost a millennium. Located in Idanre Town, about 24 kilometres southwest of Akure, Ondo State capital, the ancient Idanre Hills had been a home for the Idanre community for almost 1000 years.

Idanre Hill is a UNESCO World Heritage Site

As a natural and cultural landscape, Idanre Hills stands out well among all other places that have been listed in UNESCO World Heritage Sites. It is a cluster of intimidating and imposing hills housing some wonderful things which confound the senses. The hills surround the town, envelope it and dominate life in the town. From any angle, one sees the hills and virtually every activity that revolves round this collection of hills.

Idanre Hill flora and fauna

Apart from that cultural role, the town pulls the wealthy and the commoner, basically due to its perceived mystical aura and the giddy excitement lovers of nature get when they surmount the steep, daunting climb to the top, to witness a spectacular view of the new town and adjoining hills in a breath-taking manner. The flora and fauna of the place have been under scientific study for several decades. The topography of the place will be of great value to mankind.  Its physical attributes include Owa’s Palace, Shrines, Old Court, Belfry, Agbooogun foot print etc.

The ancient palace

The ancient palace which has an intimidating courtyard where the Oba used to hold court is located on top of the hill where the old settlement used to be. The palace houses some historical monuments about the establishment of Idanre town. It’s a deserted ancient town on top of the hill where abandoned buildings, including the palace and courtyard of the Oba can be found. The old town also has a shrine of the High Chiefs and residential quarters of many inhabitants. The guides are available to tell visitors about interesting ancient histories of the community.

Beautiful landscape

Idanre Hill is a cluster of intimidating and imposing hills that surrounds the town of Idanre. The hills house some wonderful things which confound the senses. It contains very important bio-physical and landform features whose interaction with the physical features created an enduring cultural landscape. The panoramic view of the town from top of the Aghagha Hill is a view that takes one’s breath away.

Aghagha hill, Orosun peak and cultural festival

Aghagha Hill emits smoke throughout the year; it offers beautiful scenery for nature lovers. The famous Orosun festival is one of the major factors for Idanre’s consideration for upgrading to the status of a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Also, there is an annual Mare Festival (“MARE” meaning “don’t fall”) – An international mountain climbing festival, which celebrates the land, the people and its rich culture.

Arun River

Arun River is a mysterious river in a serene corner of the hill. It’s said that the river derive its source from the hot confines of Aghagha Hill. The water is so clear, clean and even drinkable. One can even see the stones and plants inside it. People come here to pray and fetch the water for spiritual cleansing. Those who venture mid-stream claim that they experience dizziness and the presence of a supernatural being, an eerie feeling which makes the head swell. The experience is definitely not for the lily-livered

There are “Nine Wonders” on the hills. And it begins with “The Great Steps” (Ibi Akasu) that lead up into the hills: 660 steps with five resting points set at least 100 metres apart. A climb on the hills requires a regimen against fatigue and imbalance. With a rich and robust ecosystem, the hilltop is a mid-way world between the sky and the ground, consisting of great heights and yawning gorges, frightening chasms and suicidal slopes. At the pinnacle of the hills, nature is benevolent: a balmy weather, clear, sunless azure sky, and a quasi-Jurassic jungle. The hills’ flora is a matrix of tropical rainforest and savannah biomes. The vegetation, luxurious and densely variegated vegetation include tall Obeche and leafy Afara and Acacia intertwined with shrubs; contrasting morphs of cacti, cashew, and coconuts palms sprout here and there. Bananas grow among bamboos under big baobabs. Sporadic cassava cultivation indicates an agrarian occupation. The hills have a fauna of snakes so if you want to climb, be mindful of them.

Signs You Have a Lot of Stress Though You Don’t Even Notice

Most people think that being stressed out is a normal thing; stress can have a negative effect on your health without you noticing. Sometimes, your body might try to let you know that you are under stress and you will want to ignore some common signs that you are stressed. It is very important to notice and take action on some physical early warning signs of stress in order to tackle it before it gets worse. Read on to discover some hidden signs of stress that occurs often without you knowing that you are over stressed.

You Have Trouble Sleeping - When you have difficulties falling asleep at a time you are suppose to be sleeping or sleeping and walking up minute after minute; this is another obvious sign that you are stressed. There is the tendency to wake up couple of hours before your alarm rings and not being able to go back to sleep. You can also be having bad dreams in some cases, you may be dreaming about not being able to accomplish a particular task: another typical sign that you are stressed.

You Get Tired Easily - Of course, when you don’t get enough sleep at night, you won’t be able to concentrate and that can make you experience daytime tiredness without doing anything serious. Poor sleep, negative thinking and a poor diet often co-exist and it is a deadly combination that can lead to serious fatigue which can affect your health and cause serious breakdown.

Having a Fluctuating Appetite – Sometimes when you are stressed, you are likely going to lose appetite and will rather engage yourself in eating sugary and fatty things such as pizza, cookies and chocolate. Studies have shown that women who are stressed are more likely to eat sweet foods when they feel anxious. Sometimes your mood depends on your food intake.

Your Temper Flares up – When you are stress, you get angry, nervous and frustrated. Your temper flies at every little provocation; you get angry over things you are not suppose to get angry at. When you notice this occurring frequently it’s time to take good look at your overall stress level.

Moving Quickly - Even though stress may make you feel tired, it can also bring irritability that will often result in tense and fast movements. You will sometimes realize that you are walking too fast even when you don’t have any urgent or pressing appointment or tasks to accomplish. Other signs that you are stressed include, tapping your feet for no obvious reason, drumming your fingers against table or chewing your pen without noticing.

Solo Travel for Self-Discovery

Traveling can inspire you to pursue your passion, develop fresh ideas about your business and help you to invest in a new business. It has a unique way of helping clear the mind, refocus and think more clearly. Traveling is beneficial in a variety of ways: some people travel for relaxation and many others travel for fun. Whatever might be your reason for traveling there are great benefits to be had for traveling, especially alone.

It’s great for self discovery – Being alone in a particular place at a particular time can help you think differently and bring out the creativity in you. It will also help you in making decisions that will change your life and allow you follow your dreams: That is self-discovery. You can discover what you want in your life when you spend some quality time alone. You get to reflect on your life. So traveling alone can give you the time and space to think about who you truly want to be without anybody influencing your decision. You will truly be yourself and be alone in a clear state of mind. This will give you the opportunity to figure out what really matters to you.

Traveling forces you to act- Traveling to new states, cities, and countries can inspire you. It gives you an amazing opportunity to take charge of your life. Living your life just the way you want it is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Anytime you travel alone and you succeed in making small decisions, it can help you build the confidence to make bigger decisions in your life.

It gets you out of your comfort zone- There are so many people in the world who don’t really and truly know what excites them in life.  You are not going to find out what excites you by continuing to live and breathe the same routine every week and year after year. Traveling will force you to get out of your comfort zone and get to experience new things, new cultures and new people; this can help you grow and open your mind to new possibilities and ideas.

You can meet new people- Traveling can give you the opportunity of meeting people from different walks of life. You get to know and meet people with different careers you never knew existed. When you meet people doing different things from what you know, you might be inspired to take interest in learning a new career or acquiring a new skill. Meeting new people increases your awareness and knowledge. You will also meet people with different background that are very different from yours. You might realize there are people you really want to help and discover the difference in the world you were born.

It adds excitement to your life- Doing the same thing every day, week and year after year can make life dull and boring. Traveling can completely change your perception about life, and give you a new perspective. This great feeling about life can give you the zeal you need to make positive changes in your life that enables you to become the person you want to be.

Whether you travel with a group or solo, there are many benefits to getting away from the daily grind. Make traveling your hobby and allow your travels to shape your life in an amazing way.

Why people stay in an abusive relationship and the way out

It is baffling and a thing of worry why people, especially ladies decide to stay in abusive relationships. Someone you know or even your loved one might be a victim of abusive relationship. What then is an abusive relationship? Abuse can come in heaps of different ways; it is not limited to physical violence only. An abusive relationship can be emotional, physical, verbal or even sexual abuse, and can also involve control of finances. People who have never been abused or been with an abusive spouse often wonder why someone in an abusive relationship wouldn’t just leave. The truth is that there are a lot of complications when it comes to breaking up with the abuser.

There are many reasons why both men and women stay in abusive relationships. If you have friends or relation  in abusive relationships, rather than condemn them, support them and show some understanding why they may choose not to leave immediately.  Below are the reasons:

·         Fear: A lady or guy in an abusive relationship will be afraid to leave the relationship due to constant threat from the abuser. The abuser can even go as far as saying “if you dare to leave me I will make your life miserable”.

·         Believing Abuse is Normal: A person who has never enjoyed a healthy relationship will think abuse is normal; all you need to do is endure. This might be due to his or her childhood upbringing where abuse was a common and normal thing. A person in an abusive relationship is used to the pushing, hitting, shoving and being forced to have sex. That is why they may only laugh when friends tell them it is abnormal, or suggest they leave the leave the abuser.

·         Embarrassment: People in abusive relationships are often too embarrassed to reveal to friends that they are being abused, or have been abused in their past relationships. They feel people will think it is their fault.

·     Low Self-esteem: “You are the cause of why I am like this”! This statement will hurt them so bad to the extent that they will start believing that they are the reason why their spouse turned out to be an abuser.

·         Love: “I know he loves me and didn’t mean to hurt me”! Can you hear yourself? Love doesn’t believe in violence, someone may decide to stay in an abusive relationship hoping and praying for a partner to change. After a violent event, it's common a couple to try and make it ok by making excuses, apologising, or promising to change. The abuser can even tell you, “I am so sorry, I promise to change”. And the victim who is being blinded by “love” will believe that.  It won’t be long before they will forget all the promises and get violent again.

·         Lack of Money: Someone you know in an abusive relationship will not leave it immediately due to the money he or she gets from the abuser. Maybe each time the abuser wants to apologize for being violent, the best way they think is to give money.

·         Nowhere to Go: Some feel that they have nowhere to go to because they might have cut off ties with people who advised them to leave the abusive relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person is cohabiting with the abusive partner.

·         “I am scared of what will happen if I leave”: In an abusive relationship, it’s not unusual to be afraid of leaving the person you are with. This can be for a number of reasons, such as fearing for your own safety, or being fearful of what the person might do to themselves. An abusive partner will even go as far as saying “if you leave me I will kill myself or if I can’t have you, no one else will”.

Way out from an abusive relationship

As difficult as it may seem, there are some possible ways to get yourself out from an abusive relationship.

·         Talk to someone you know you can trust who will advise you on the right thing to do.

·         Never be afraid to report abusive partners to the right bodies who will arrest them.

·         If you have a friend or loved one in an abusive relationship, the most important thing to do is to be supportive. Do not judge because it is like adding salt to their injury.

·         If your abusive partner threatens to harm themselves when you leave them don’t fall for it, because it is cheap blackmail. It is not your fault they turn out that way. Don’t you care for your own safety? Maybe you probably haven’t heard of some abusive relationships where the victims died.

·         You might also be afraid of not being able to provide for yourself. But it’s important to remember that you are not on your own and there are people who can help you every step of the way. Don’t be embarrassed to run to friends or family and open up about your abusive relationship. They care for you and will help you.

·         No one deserves to be in a relationship where they don’t feel safe. If you are in a relationship that you think might be abusive, find out more about what you can do. You can even go and talk to counsellors that will proffer a better solution.

·         Don’t give up or lose hope. Stand up and fight! You can even buy books that educate people on how to stand up to an abusive partner or watch inspirational movies. But if you don’t feel like fighting back, just walk away. 

How to get Rid of Dark Spots

Dark spots are common skin problem with almost every woman. These spots are often found on the parts of the body that have been exposed to sun, such as the face, hands, legs, back and neck. Dark spots, especially on the face, bring about self esteem issues; it has the tendency to make you become self-conscious when you are talking to other people. Most women try to hide their dark spots with makeup, but as time progresses, the dark spots become more obvious.

Some major causes of dark spots are extreme exposure to the sun, use of some medications, body cream, lotions and tubes. Aging also has a lot to do with dark spots; lack of vitamins, pregnancy, too much stress and improper skin care can all contribute as well. There are some medical condition that can make you have dark spots such as serious conditions of cancer and diabetes. There are however, a lot of ways to get rid of dark spot naturally in any part of the body, especially the face, without spending too much money. These include;

Potato – Potato have a natural bleaching property that can help to fade spots, scars as well as blemishes. The starch in potato helps reduce pigmentation, while the enzymes in the potato promote healthy skin. Potato can be applied in three different ways but the simplest way to apply it is to slice the potato into half, place one slice directly on the black spots, leave it on for few minutes and then wash your face with lukewarm water.

Lemon Juice – Lemon juice is effective in treating dark spot because of its acidic nature. Lemons have Vitamin C that can lighten dark spots on your skin. Apply some fresh lemon juice on a cotton ball and rub it directly on the affected area, allow it to dry and then wash it off with clean water. Avoid going out in the sun anytime you apply it, and if your skin is delicate or sensitive, you can dilute the lemon juice with water, rose water or honey. Do not apply lemon juice if you have sore on the affected area.

Aloe Vera – Aloe Vera is very effective when it has to do with treating dark spot and it is very good for the skin in general.  Cut the Aloe Vera in half to get the gel inside. Rub the gel directly on the affected area; Aloe Vera has many healing properties and it’s a great natural dark spot corrector. It can help stimulate the growth of new skin cells to help reduce dark spots and also very effective in healing scars. For effective results, use Aloe Vera gel at least twice a day for four to five weeks.

Onions – Onions juice is very beneficial for treating dark spots on the skin. You may wonder how possible this can be, but it is very true that red onion juice acts as a bleaching agent because it is highly acidic in nature like lemon. You can rub some raw onions juice directly onto dark spots or better still, you can mix one table spoon of onion juice with two table spoons of honey and apply it to your skin for about twenty minutes; then wash thoroughly to get rid of the onion smell.

Sugar Cubes – You read that right. All you need to do with your sugar cube is to rub it on the affected area and it will naturally remove the dark spots. It works so well because sugar is known to have glycolic acid. It also helps to exfoliate blemishes.

Castor Oil – It has some of the strongest healing properties that help to get rid of dark spots easily and effectively. Apply castor oil on the affected area morning and night. Doing this procedure always and daily will help to quickly fade dark spots away.

Papaya – This is known to be effective in treating all kinds of skin condition. It contains some enzymes that help to get rid of dark spots, acne and other skin blemishes. Fresh papaya that has been smashed or grated should be applied directly to the area and left for twenty minute. Repeat this process often until the condition improves.