Tozali Magazine

                                                                     
LOVE DIARY

NINE
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO AFTER A BREAKUP

 Breakups are painful experiences especially
when you truly love the person. It hurts to the extent that you just want to
give up on love. Some people might even entertain the thoughts of taking their
own lives; some people are known to have gone as far as that (i.e. committing
suicide). All the same, here are some things you should not do when the breakup
alarm rings your way. If you do them, you sell yourself cheap, I mean cheaper
than “chocomilo.”

1. Do not feel ashamed of yourself:

 Feeling ashamed will only make you look weak
and hopeless.  A breakup can happen to
anybody at any time; how you handle it is what matters. There is nothing to be
ashamed of, life goes on.  Remember you
have a beautiful life ahead. Nobody should make you feel less of a human; they
are not worth it.

2. Never stalk him or her:

 After a breakup, it is easy to slip into swim
fan mode without even realizing it. But you shouldn’t. I repeat, DON’T. Don’t
get into the habit of checking Facebook page every time you sign in, because
this will soon become second nature and eventually, an impulse you will perform
like clockwork. Don’t be that girl or guy who shows up at a party your ex is
attending, and stands in the corner the whole time watching his every move.
Know why? Because it’s creepy! You demean yourself when you do that.

3. Do not hold on to pictures of the person or stuff
that will remind you of him or her:

There is a reason for the phrase, “A
picture tells a thousand stories”.  Pictures
are able to tell a ton of stories because you can extend your imagination and
suspend disbelief. Looking at pictures and personal belongings of your ex will
keep bringing to mind how you were cheated on. 
You will probably keep crying and keep hurting.

4. Do not give up on love:

 Love is a beautiful thing. The fact that you
met a love abuser doesn’t mean there are no people that understand and respect
the word “love”. If you keep soaking yourself in the river of tears, you may
not see the “good guy” who might just be looking for who has a broken heart to
be mended.

5. Do not take it out on other people:

 Transferring aggression is not the way to go.
You should love people more than ever before, but be careful about it. Do not
make people suffer for someone else’s sin.

1.       6. Do not go around
telling stories to people:

 It will only become gist that will fade away
after sometime. Some people are in the habit of telling what their ex did to
them to everyone that cares to listen. They take every opportunity they get to
narrate how bad and ungrateful he or she is. By so doing, you have given
yourself to ridicule and a point of reference to any one that gets their heart
trashed.

 

 

 

7. Do not seclude yourself:

This means you should not stay away
from your friends and decide to stay on your own in self-pity. You should be
around people that will make you happy and forget you were ever involved with
the wrong person.  Be happy and get on
with your life because no one has the right to hold up your life. If people expected
to see you downcast, lonely and weeping, the best you can do for yourself is to
disappoint their expectations.

       8.
 Do not jump into another relationship:

The pleasure and sense of
relief you might get by doing this will be strong, but fleeting. It’s like the
whole band-aid solution; you are not allowing yourself to fully heal from the
breakup. And healing before another relationship is important so that you don’t
go into it with unhealthy emotional neediness which might cause you another
breakup.

 

9. Do not judge the person:

You also have flaws that need to be
worked upon; you could just be the reason for the breakup. Instead of wallowing
in tears, why not sit and think about how you may have contributed to the
breakup and see how you can work on that before your next relationship.