The quest for discipline is a never ending task for
societal growth. This is one of the reasons why parents are so bent and
concerned about getting their children to be disciplined. This is not done but
through the act of getting the children to listen. The deal therefore is
positive discipline which is an idea that centres on reverting things back to
the root – when children do something wrong, instead of them being punished,
parents teach and guide them to set the behavior right.
Discipline is regarded as any action or activities
that is in agreement with what society termed as right. Most parents are
concerned about the behavior of their children, hoping, planning and working to
make sure their children are positively disciplined. Even though accepting behaviors
differs from one place to another, the host community always have what they see
as wrong or right.
Positive discipline on the hand is a kind of
parenting style where children are accepted with both their good and bad
behaviors. What is most important is the process of getting the children
focused on doing the right thing. Parents concerned with positive discipline
are actively involved in helping the children recognize ill behaviours and
helping them correct their behaviours without hurting the children physically
or verbally. This is in contrast to parents being punitive, angry, violent and
destructive in attempt to correct behaviours and instill discipline.
In instilling positive discipline, it is important
to develop a sense of connection to the children. Children must be allowed a
connection and a sense of belonging in a way that parents open up their arms
and embrace their children for who they are and then open a chapter of making
them grow to develop behaviours that the parents value. Children with poor
academic performance, lack of respect for authorities and elders, drug abuse
and other in disciplinary characteristics are to be hold in high esteem just as
other children who display recognizable good behaviours.
Parents are also expected to teach the children
important social and life skills such as respect for others, focus on
academics, relationship with others, as well as the need to boost
self-esteem.
Parents are also expected to prevent negative
behaviours by teaching the children what is wrong from right. This would go a
long way in helping the children have positive discipline. Some children might
not be conversant with wanted or unwanted behaviours especially in a new
environment. Since it is within the realm of parenting, it becomes imperative
for parents to help children in being able to identify and differentiate what
the society sees as wrong or right. Children need to know and understand what
negative behaviours are before they end of doing one by accident.
Furthermore, parents can go as far as being explicit about the consequences of
one behaviour or the other. This would also go a long way in strengthening
positive discipline.
One other problem is that of children listening to
parents as getting a reluctant child to listen to his parents can be a real
trial for parents. At a point, children are to listen and learn from their
parents even when they are at the point of expressing themselves and doing what
they want to do, which also conflicts with what the parents want the children
to do.
At this point it is important for parents to
recognize the need to encourage listening by rewarding listening activities
like reinforcing good behaviors, allow them to respectfully communicate back to
parents and parents should be calm in giving directive or orders.
Finally, children are special and whatever happens
to them, is of considerable concern to the parent. This is why it is important
for parents to consider positive discipline as a key for child upbringing.
Maryam Islam.
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