Victim of Valentine's Day Rape

The social media has become a rallying platform for both the young and old people in the society. Many people sign up to different social media such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram and the rest to make friends, gain more knowledge about happenings around the world and so on. Dating sites abound on the internet and many people ( young and old, men and women) subscribe to these sites in search of love. While some have found true love from the social media, others have been defrauded, blackmailed or raped. The social media has also become an arena for the good, the bad and the ugly. If you choose to seek love from the social media, you are advised to be careful, and learn from the experience of one who was a victim of Valentine's Day rape. Below is the story as told by the victim, a student of the University of Lagos:

February 14^th, the day for lovers is celebrated differently in Nigeria. Streets, hotels, stores, shopping malls and restaurants are covered in red, pink and white streamers with big heart shaped signs wishing passer-by a Happy Valentine's Day. But that day turned out to be the worst day of my life. All my life, guys have never really liked me. Or should I say the guys I like don’t like me back, while those I don’t like or care about are the ones who pay attention to me.  Last year, I met a man I had been chatting with on Facebook. He is married, but because I write poetry, he became one of my ardent fans. He sent me a friend request on Facebook and I accepted and from there we began chatting. He told me his wife is in London, and he is in Nigeria on contract to one of the telecommunication companies so he didn’t come with his family. After a while, I and Mr Amos (not real name) decided to meet so as to get to know each other more. We decided to meet at Ocean Basket in VI and I couldn’t believe how handsome he was when I set my eyes on him. He is fair, tall and every ladies dream. I will not deny that I had a crush on him. A day before Valentine’s day which was on the 13 and on a Saturday, he invited me to his house in Adeniyi Jones in Ikeja for the Valentine, I accepted and said I will come because I didn’t have any plans for that day. I went to his house towards the evening on that particular day after church service. I got to his house without any stress because he lives in a very popular vicinity. He gave me a very warm welcome, helped me with my handbag from the gate to his living room.

We got in and had a good conversation full of side jokes. We laughed and talked for a while till he offered me food and drinks. He went to the kitchen, dished two plates for both of us and he brought a bottle of wine along which he served. He was such a gentleman, little did I know, he planned the entire visit. He didn’t even allow me pack the plates or do the dishes after our meal together. We began to gist again and this time it was on a programme showing on the television as at that moment. I started getting dizzy and everywhere was beginning to look blurry. I decided to lay my head a little but was uncomfortable to sleep in a married man’s house so I asked him to take me home. He agreed but I was too weak to stand up, so he carried me and I passed out. Hours later my phone was ringing and I woke up, still feeling dizzy but I could not move because I had little strength.  I looked at my phone and it was my mum calling. I woke up in a strange bedroom with no idea where I was. Almost immediately, a man walked in, it was Mr. Amos; I became very furious and stood up with alacrity. Standing up made me realised I was soaked in blood and I was on my underwear.

I screamed and that was when I realised I had been deflowered. There was no one to hear my scream and Mr. Amos fell on his knees and began pleading with me, saying the devil came over him and all sorts of lies and explanation. My virginity, my pride was stripped away from me forcefully and unknowingly. I wanted to keep it till marriage for the husband God will give me. Now I am a part of the girls I tag as sluts. I am not telling this story for people to insult me, as it is I have received enough insults from the few friends I told about my painful experience. I am trying to make girls learn from my mistake. Don’t fall prey to the gimmicks of men in the name of Valentine or any other celebration. I hope I forgive myself someday.

By: Pupwaya Timothy Dibal