JOKES

Old woman

An old woman boarded a bus to Lagos from Calabar and told the driver, “driver, if you reach Benin tell me oh”. The driver nodded and then she shouted again, “My children, una hear wetin I tell am”? Everybody responded “yes, mama”.

On the long journey to Lagos, everybody slept off and forget about mama’s request. After several hours of driving and then close to Lagos, with Benin about four hours behind, the old woman asked, “driver you never reach Benin ”? “Oooooh!” the driver exclaimed, “mama Benin is like four hours behind us”. “Ah!”, the old woman shouted and started crying, “take me back to Benin a beg I no want wahala o!”.

Considering the age of the woman, the passengers agreed that the driver should turn back to Benin. On getting to Benin, the driver came down, opened the door and told the woman she was in Benin. The woman simply opened her handbag, brought out two tablets of Panadol and swallowed them with water. She then smiled and said, “Thank you my son. Na my daughter say when I reach Benin make I take two tablets of Panadol. I don take am, oya make we dey go Lagos..LOL

Boy and Girl

A boy met a girl, after a little conversation, the boy wanted to leave, then he said to the girl.

Boy: sorry, I didn’t get your name.

Girl: OK, I’m Dike Sandra Thelma Vera, you can call me (DSTV).

Boy: (I no fit carry last), well I’m Godwin Obinna, Tochukwu Victor, and (GOTV).

LOLZZZZ----- if it was you, what funny fake name will you give?

Add yours let the fun begin.

Interview between an officer and a Nigerian immigrant at the Embassy.

Officer: What is your name?

Muzo: M.P sir

Officer: In full please

Muzo: Muzo Phiri

Officer: your father’s name?

Muzo: M.P sir

Officer: what does that mean?

Muzo: Melvin Phiri

Officer: your native place.

Muzo: M.P sir

Officer: what’s that?

Muzo: Muchinga Province

Officer: what is your qualification?

Muzo: M.P

Office: (angry) what is that?

Muzo: Mathematics Professor.

Officer: so why do you need a job?

Muzo: Ii is because of M.P sir

Officer: meaning?

Muzo: money problem

Officer: would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What’s your personality like?

Muzo: M.P sir

Officer: and what is that?

Muzo: Marvelous Personality.

Officer: I see---- I will get back to you.

Muzo: sir, how was M.P sir?

Officer: and what’s that again?

Muzo: My performance.

Officer: I think you are an M.P

Muzo: meaning?

Officer: mental patient.

I have send this to you because you are my M.P (my paddy)