HOW TO HELP A CHILD THAT IS FOND OF COMING HOME WITH PEOPLE’S ITEM
When a child comes home with strange
items, it is normal for parents to worry and demand to know where and how he got
the items; no matter how little the item may appear. It is common with children especially toddlers
to come home with people’s item, they always believe everything is theirs. To
children, coming home with people’s item does not mean stealing. Children under
four years of age have difficulties distinguishing things: between “mine” and
“yours”. To them, everything is ‘‘Mine’’. Also, most children have this greed
in them to have everything they see. But
children of five years to seven years can differentiate between something that
is theirs and that of another child. They can understand the idea of stealing. At
that age, they can begin to understand the right and wrong of taking things
that do not belong to them. Whatever the situation, if your child starts coming
home with people’s items, don’t panic yet, you can handle this common problem
by simply following the steps below:
1.
Even
if you understand that stealing is part of a developmental stage, you still
need to make it clear that theft is wrong in order for your child to stop doing
it. Start this teaching right from kindergarten age. Express your displeasure
over seeing people’s property in your home, even the ones he borrows from his
mates should not be exempted. Educate your children on how to always be
contented with the things they have. And
let them know the implication of stealing.
2.
Always
praise honesty in your home. Praise your child whenever he is honest to you;
for example, you can praise your child for bringing your forgotten balance to
you when you send him on errand. You can also try your child’s honesty. A
parent can deliberately throw some money or valuable things around the house.
If your child brings them back to you, praise him because it is a remarkable
behavior that most parents overlook. You can also send your child on errand
without asking for your balance. If your child returns your balance to you,
such child needs to be praised. If he does not, educate him more about
stealing, don’t relent. And never imply that your child is bad. Stealing is bad,
not the child. Do not call your child a thief, dishonest, or a liar or any
other name that you do not want him to become. When you give a child a label,
he will grow to fill that label.
3.
After
the act of theft, parents should create time for further counseling. They don’t
have to counsel only when the act is done. They can even counsel such child
when they go for strolling. Such counseling is necessary because the child is
not in a panicky state; he is well relaxed, unlike when he is caught in the act
of stealing.
4.
Visitation
to prisons will be of help too. This will give your child the idea of what
thieves go through when they are caught and prosecuted by law.
5.
Be
a model of honesty too as a parent. Children learn by watching their parents.
You should show concern about the property rights of others. A parent who
brings office supplies home or boasts about a mistake at the market where the
seller gives her excess change, teaches his child that honesty is not
important.
6.
Try
to always give the child attention, and also his necessary needs. If he needs
certain things to be part of his peer group, make sure that he gets them. Children
are completely dependent on their parents for their needs. A child whose needs
are not met will use any means to get what they want.
7.
Watch the kind of friends your child is going
out with. If you notice that your child’s friend is stealing, try to separate
them. This is because a child learns more from their peer group, and sometimes a
child may steal to prove bravery to friends. So, as a parent, be very watchful
of your child’s friends.
8.
Find
out the cause. Sometimes, anger, poor self esteem and boredom can make a child
steal. Knowing the cause and trying to solve that cause can help too
In conclusion, it is important to curb stealing in children
right from when they are small. You can start by stopping a child who is fond
of bringing people’s items home right from kindergarten. Bringing people’s items
home is a common problem among children and you should view it like any other
mistake your child makes. See it as something that has to be corrected; it is
not more than that. If you handle it rightly and calmly, you can correct this
problem easily. And more importantly, continue to trust your child. If your
child is stealing, it does not mean he is bad or a thief. You don’t want your
reaction to make him that way, do you? Your child will fulfill that which is
your expectation of him. If you view him as a thief, bad or dishonest, then he
will grow into that label. Think positive and be optimistic. Your child is your
future.
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