Thursday, 7 August 2014

REAL ISSUE FOR REAL WOMEN

Why I Rejected Jonathan’s Friend Request on Facebook.



As I was going through my Facebook page I saw a friend request from one Jonathan.  I quickly rejected the offer of friendship because of the simple reason that his name is Jonathan. I smiled at myself because I know that my crazy thought has really nothing to do with the Jonathan that sent me a friend request, but Jonathan our President. Don't get me wrong, I don't personally dislike Mr President. I am just being critically objective like any other average Nigerian woman who is heartbroken by his way of governance and poor leadership scheme.
Let me brush a little on my biography, may be you would understand my grievance with Mr President. I am a simple girl who was brought up in a city of Bauchi. I was brought up with so much love by my parents who were also relatively young when I was a child. I have witnessed how much effort my mother put into me and my siblings’ upbringing. She was a disciplinarian who made sure she instilled good values in us. We were her priority. I remember how she used to spend her days taking care of our day today needs. She usually woke up earlier than everyone in the house to make breakfast for us to eat and take some to school.  She never hesitated to proceed to do the other house chores and other wifely types of obligations. Her responsibility didn’t stop at taking care of us, the children, but also included taking care of our father, who she jokingly  proclaimed to be her eldest son. Apart from that, she also did some side businesses ranging from trading, little factories to poultry farming. My mother has always been full of strength, she is jack of all trade, and master of non. She is one person I have known in my life that hates idleness.
My father, on the other hand, was a civil servant. He worked with the state government. He is relatively an introvert. He doesn't like talking too much and he is very calm and patient. Nothing disrupts or disturbs him. You can never catch him losing his cool over anything. I always tell my friends that I have got the coolest dad. In his own capacity, he tried and made sure we had everything we needed ranging from toys to books in school, and enough provisions when we were finally sent to boarding secondary schools. He was indeed a strong provider.

When I was growing up, although I knew I needed not to work hard being a woman, as I have seen or made to believe, men are bread winners of the house and automatically, some day, I would be some man's responsibility; but I have tried to be a little hardworking. Since I was privileged to go to school, studying hard would definitely please my parents. So I studied hard, made good grades and finally gained admission to the university where I was also privileged to read law.
Although, even then, I used to hear the elders complain that times were hard, but looking back at those days today, I wonder whether times were really hard then. Perhaps, it wasn't just as bad as now. I am now in my thirties; the chorus of Nigeria is still the same. The elders still say Nigeria was better before and that in their time they had free education, free medical care, in fact, almost everything in Nigeria was free. Life was splendid for both the poor and the rich.  But today, things have become unbearably challenging for the poor and the middle class. What we used to see as our right has obviously become a privilege only few Nigerians have got.
Why I am, in fact, more saddened by our present situation is because, despite everything, I grew up with the strong positive believe that someday things would get better, especially with the coming of democracy; but to my greatest surprise the country’s situation only has the potentials of getting terribly worse. Over the years, what we only witness is a drastic decline of every sector of the economy.
A Mallam once told me that if we pray for our leaders they get better and likewise do better. So I cultivated the habit of praying for them, but yet they don't seem to have a turning point. The stories of scams and corruption that we read in dailies make one wonder if our leaders are humans or monsters.
In China, corruption is punished with death sentence, in Nigeria corruption is no crime as it is a general practice that cuts across every sector of the economy. It is, in fact, very acceptable to be corrupt if you belong to the presidential team. In some situations, when you are caught  and obviously faced with  charges or conviction, Mr president would grant you presidential pardon and waive all your crimes. I am not exaggerating, it has happened before and again in this country.
I agree that money is evil and can be destructive, especially for those who started without shoes, and sometimes when you are in it you lose all bearings. But our dear leaders, don't you have little concerns, what happened to your moral values? At least, fight the evil a little and do some little arithmetic. How much money do you and your family need to live comfortably? You don't need billions because billions are public funds that you may not be able to exhaust before angels of death catch up with you. The world is nothing but a market place. No one is going to dwell in it forever. We come for specific ordained period and leave when our time is due. No matter how healthy you are, you can’t survive more than 100 plus years. If you must steal, at least, steal what you would be able to spend during your life time. A couple of millions would do the paradise kind life style you may want to lead while on earth. See the case of the pension scams where few Nigerians stole so much money that is made for pensioners. How on earth can one steal such a huge amount of money? Don’t they lose sleep over such kind of looting of innocent Nigerians’ funds?
The last time I visited my home state, I drove around to visit relatives and friends. But something caught my attention while driving: a man was walking and seemed to be talking to himself. I pulled over and stopped, although I was mindful not to interfere because I knew that could amount to trespass of some sort, but I couldn't just hold myself; I could see worries written all over his face. He was an elderly person and also looked responsible, but something was driving him crazy. I couldn't help but ask him if he was ok. He looked up at me; you could see the mixture of shock and surprise on his face, but he answered after what seemed to be the longest pause I have seen ever. He told me he has a wife and six kids, for the past 5 days he couldn't take even a single grain home because his business has collapsed. I asked him what kind of business he was into. He pointed at one table stand by the footpath of a busy street. He said he used to sell little house hold things like screw drivers, bulbs, padlock etc. on that stand, but lately the market got bad. He had eaten up the little capital as well as the profit of the business as his family demand grew a little bit higher than before. He has had nothing to sell for five days now, and he was practically worried about his family’s wellbeing. He tried to get some goods on credit from his suppliers but failed. I stamped my feet in anger and silently said, “Screw the government”.
Looking around I can see a thousand of his type roaming the streets. The truth is that everyman you see on the street has his life, his experiences and peculiar problems. But looking at our economy, the poor man's problem in Nigeria is how to even feed; it has become so difficult that other problems don't seem like problems to them anymore. This man’s story is just one of sort. Yet, we would see our so called leaders, who are on oath to be our keepers, driving  posh cars, getting drunk day and night, not caring how we survive in  this damn economy.
Going back to my dreams of being taken care of by a man, although my Cinderella dream story might be still intact, but I fear, with the present economic recess, it may no longer be possible. Times are hard. The present day marriage is like the white man's marriage of shared responsibility. Scratch my back I scratch yours.
The last time I visited the hospital in my home state I shed tears, most of the patients I saw suffering were women and children. They were sitting outside because there were no even bed facilities to admit them. You could see a woman in labour, sitting outside in the sun and her husband is no where to be found. I don't want to go into details, the situation is just pathetic. May God keep seeing them through their hassles and ordeals!
I am still not married yet, but a little bit conservative. Despite the country’s situation, I still wish for a handsome prince that can take my absolute responsibility (just still hoping). It kind of gives one the feeling of being a real woman.

If you are with me, I hope you know from which planet I am coming and why I won't add that Jonathan to my Facebook friends even though he is not the same as Mr President. I want Mr President to know that we are still  hoping for a new Nigeria, devoid of ills and social  problems . I am angry with him because it's just not happening. I used to worry for me, now I worry for the future of my children. What a predicament!!! 
                                                                                                                             by Binta

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