WHEN IS IT OKAY FOR A MAN TO CRY?

Today on Every day people, we will be focusing on the male gender( uhmmm), reasons are that the male genders are complicated and rigid in so many ways.

Men are known as the less emotional sex; (ladies I know you all will agree with me on this one) . They are supposed to be super heroes and bat mans (wink); the rock in the middle of storm, the James Bonds when there is an action to be displayed and unflappably cool no matter what the circumstance. Of course it’s not wrong for men to get emotional.

It’s so unhealthy to keep one’s feelings bottled up and shoved deep inside especially when that man is going through difficulties (which they all do). This can cause him to fall into depression and just because men are being taught while growing up that ‘’Big boys don’t cry’’, they die in silence rather than crying out.

So when is it okay for a man to let go off his bottled up emotions and crying?  

During the the cause of my research I decided to throw the question out there on my WhatsApp status just to get the views of men and women on the above topic; and guess what? i got the following responses.

 According to Bashir Mohammed commented saying: Men are expected to be very strong creatures that shouldn’t cry but are expected to just ‘’man up’’ and deal with whatever comes their way.

Summaya Abubakar a lady ,  commented saying: please they should cry so they don’t pile up aggression and descend on the wrong person.

Joy Jona wrote : Men should cry whenever they feel the urge, it is natural. While Victor confessed : Men are allowed to cry. We are not made up of stone.

Mr Ibrahim commented saying: when you lost your mom…… #period!!!

Zainab Aliyu  gave it a similar angle by commenting : when you lose someone you love

A rather funny remark came from Khadija Jega who said men should cry when they are guilty and their wive's confronts them. 

 

Although these comments are only opinions and certainly not an authority but one can be save to judge that there are instances when men are allowed to cry . Crying  is a natural instinct  and a beautiful emotional display that sometimes gives one an instant relief from pain and frustration. So if you feel like it, let it out . Don't worry about what the society would say . 

You can also  still send your thoughts on this topic by emailing : tozalimagazine@gmail.com

BY MAIMUNA BAGUDU

BEADS AS A TIMELESS WOMEN FASHION ACCESSORY

One of the most popular trends these days features on bead necklaces .  Nigerian women love their bead necklaces. Most of the bead necklaces we could find come with matching bracelets and earrings.

 

also beads can be of different type even if  a person doesnt like a matching color he could mix and match the beads with other colors like  for example if you dont need a full white color bead you can mix the white with red , blue or other colour . Beads looks very nice when you mix and match them with other beautiful colors. 

Most of beads designs are spiral,crystal beads,delica beads,gemstone beads,flat backs etc.  As many as they are , they come with bracelets made in the same technique and matching earrings.Most of the designs are most suitable for formal occasions and celebrations especially the crystal beads, you can see them shining like diamond at night. There are also small beads that you can wear anytime you want, as long as they fit your personal style.  

Beads making is very lucrative business in Nigeria because it's still an accessory used for high end traditional weddings  and other big gatherings. It also good  for children to learn how to assemble beads. It makes them creative, engaged and keep them busy . 

Beads are very simple to make and comfortable to wear.

KUNUN GYADA

Kunun Gyada is a Northern Nigerian pap made with raw groundnuts and rice. If making Kunun Gyada, you boil groundnut milk and add to rice blended with cool water. 

Ingredients for making Kunun Gyada

 150g raw groundnuts (peanuts) soaked for 3hours

 50g soft rice variety soaked for 8 hours

 600 mls cool water

 Tamarind (tsamiya) or lemon juice if you do not have tamarind (tsamiya).

Directions for making Kunun Gyada

1. Ground your peanut and sieve then pour  the groundnut milk into a pot and start cooking on medium heat. Stir it at all the time so that it does not stick to the bottom of the pots. Lumps will also form if you do not stir it often.

2. When groundnut milk boils, slowly add the rice blend while stirring at the same time.

3. When it boils again, add the tamarind juice or lemon juice.

4. Keep stirring and once it heats up again, it is ready to be served. 

Serve your kunun gyada with akara, masa, fried yam, moi moi or just serve it as a meal.

BY, FIRDAUSI MUSA DANTSOHO

How to make northern Nigerian rice pancakes (sinasir)

Sinasir is a Northern Nigerian (Hausa) food, it is a rice recipe that looks like pancakes when fried. It is made with soft rice used for Tuwo Shinkafa.

Ingredients for making Sinasir

 180g soft rice for Tuwo soaked

 A handful cooked rice

 ½ teaspoon yeast

 1 small sliced onion

 Sugar (to taste)

 2 pinches of salt

 Vegetable oil: for frying

 Steps on how to make sinasir

1. Start by adding the cooked rice to the soaked rice and blend till smooth.

2. Then add the yeast and allow to rise.

3. After your batter have raised add the onions, sugar and salt and mix thoroughly.

4. Set your frying pan on the heat, preferably use a non-stick frying pan.

5. Pour a small amount of oil into the pan.

6. Once your oil is hot, pour some batter into the pan making sure it is thin like pancakes.

7. Fry on medium heat.

8. Flip to fry the other side till golden brown. You may fry only one side if you wish but make sure you cover your frying pan while frying so that the other side  would be cooked by the steam. 

9. Serve with Vegetable Soup, Suya, pepper soup, ground kuli kuli, sugar, honey or eat like that . However you plan to eat it , it is a sumptuous meal. 

BY, FIRDAUSI MUSA DANTSOHO

The Mysterious / Secret Marriage of the Chief Of Air Staff And Humanitarian Affairs Minister.

After many speculation and rumours about the secret wedding of the Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management And Social Development  Hajiya Sadiya Umar Farouq and the Chief Of Air Staff Sadique Baba Abubakar, many Nigerians became curious and eager to know the truth of the story. Although Tozali Magazine was at first hesitant to report the  news of the marriage because of lack of evidence to substantiate it but it had actually become paramount  to  critically look into other media reports for validation or otherwise and to further seek to clear the air on the said secret wedding .

The rumours actual started with postings on some popular social media handles like Northern Hibiscus and others. After few days, many mainstream media and reputable newspapers, who were at first hesitant to report the news carried it. Although and reliably many close associates of the couple said that, the couple are still denying the marriage, dismissing it as a viral social media sensation. 

Many enquiries were made and seemed to confirm that the humanitarian minister might have tied the nuptial nut with the chief of air staff who had been her long time suitor. Close associates revealed that they are very much in love and have been in a relationship for a long time. Even though the secret wedding was only attended by six people (the Islamic consortium ( wali) and two witness from both side ) but it's a notorious fact that there had been commitments from both  parties for a very long time. The Chief was said to have since visited the bride's family and had asked for her hands in marriage in a normal Hausa traditional manner, months ego. According to media sources, the Fatiha took place in maitama jummuat mosque Abuja, the nation’s capital, on the 18th of September 2020 while other relatives of the bride /friends claimed that it happened in her Uncle's resident in Maitama .

The wedding which still remain a mystery for many Nigerians, took the whole of county by surprise as many were not expecting the wedding of such high and mighty members of the society to be done in secret. Many wonders why it happened that way and what were the couple hiding since marriage is a positive thing. Another group of Nigerians simply think that the wedding wasn’t announced because of the corona virus pandemic which protocols requires avoiding crowds and social distancing.  As it’s, It's still very difficult to ascertain if the marriage actually took place or not. 

 A year ago, there was a rumour that the humanitarian minister Sadiya Faruk married President Muhammadu Buhari which apparently turned out to be false.  

We congratulate the minister as we wish her a fruitful marriage if it really happened.  

By Maryam Idris

 

FALLING IN LOVE

Falling in love is having a strong and genuine feelings of attachment and love for someone, when you fall in love, you lack control of yourself and feelings, you always think of that particular person ,you can’t get them off your head, you can even experience restlessness or lack of sleep.

You meet someone and soon you're daydreaming about the future: where you'll go for vacation, what your wedding will be like, how they'll look in 20 years. If the thought of all that commitment isn't scary at all, it's a great sign you're falling in love. Scientists have theorized that this sort of speculation is more than just idle daydreaming; it's part of our biological drive towards reproduction (and yes, these drives exist even in relationships where babies are not on the cards).

There are things to be conscious of when falling in love, some of these facts are as follows,

1. When you fall in love make sure

It’s with somebody who treats you exactly how you deserve to be treated.

2. Love somebody who wants to

know everything about you, from

your favourite colour to your

Childhood memories how you

Managed to survive all those years.

3. Love somebody who can make

you laugh, who kisses your

Forehead and who notices all your

flaws but chooses to see past

them.

4. Love somebody who listens to

whatever is on your mind, who

protects you and always reminds

you how blessed they are to have

found you.

5. Love somebody who you can't

stay mad at for more than an hour

because you miss speaking to

them, who knows every freckle on

your face, every stretch mark on

your thighs, every scar and every

tear.

6. Love somebody who you can

plan your future with, and most

Importantly love somebody who is God fearing.

7. And lastly don't forget to make

them feel loved in return

Love is a beautiful thing, Falling in love is a weirdly sweet experience, but when falling deeply in love, one should be attentive to instincts and watch out for red flags and be careful not to fall for the wrong person.

By Maryam Idris

How to make Nigerian Egg Sauce

Egg Sauce is a  simple popular Nigerian food which is not time consuming and is also made with few ingredients . The main ingredients for the source are eggs, tomatoes, peppers, onions and vegetable oil.
Eggs are one of the few foods that are classified as "superfoods."They are also loaded with nutrients, some of which are rare in the modern diet.
Egg sauce Contains lots of vitamin C, vitamin A, good cholesterol, protein and calcium. Also high in  saturated fat.

INGREDIENTS
• 2 spoons sliced pepper
• Vegetable oil (200ml).
• 5 sliced fresh tomatoes.
• Sliced pepper to taste.
• 1 sliced onions.
• 2 cube of seasoning.
• Salt to taste.
• 2 spoons of Sliced Green Peppers (optional)
• Curry
• Thyme

STEP BY STEP ON HOW TO MAKE EGG SAUCE
1. Start by putting your frying pan on heat then add your vegetable oil, allow your oil to heat up for 1 min before adding your slice onions, tomatoes and pepper and stir then allow to fry for 10min.

2. Once fried add salt, seasoning cubes, curry, thyme and stir.

3. In a clean bowl beat your eggs and add to the frying tomato sauce. Allow to cook for a minute, then stir fry to break the egg into smaller pieces.

4. Your egg sauce is ready. You can serve with yam, rice, spaghetti or even bread.

5. Enjoy.

BY, FIRDAUSI MUSA DANTSOHO 

MANDIL / BADDU THE ANCIENT KANURI HEADSCARF

Mandil / Baddu the Ancient kanuri headscarf. Mandil is a general name for scarf, but this very one is

known as Mandil baddu in the kanuri language.

The elderly Kanuri and Shuwa women use this headscarf more often. From this Headscarf you can identify Kanuri and Shuwa elderly women descents in any crowd or gathering such as in markets places, ceremonial gatherings or even during pilgrimage outside of their countries.

Although, presently we do not have any facts to why is this colourfully designed Headscarf is so popular in Borno and Yobe states amongst the Kanuris and the Shuwas, but in the 1960s through to the mid 1980s you need to be a Kaka-Hajja,Ya-Hajja or Hajja (a grandmother, mother or a young woman that performed pilgrimage) before wearing this Scarf. Although, presently we do not have any facts to why is this colourfully designed Headscarf is so popular in Borno and Yobe states amongst the Kanuris and the Shuwas, but in the 1960s through to the mid 1980s you need to be a Kaka-Hajja,Ya-Hajja or Hajja (a grandmother, mother or a young woman that performed pilgrimage) before wearing this Scarf. 

Time has changed that even younger ones that have never performed Hajj are wearing it in this present

days. Mandil Baddu is nowadays worn for occasions like Wushe wushe during weddings or cultural days at schools. And it has become popular amongst other tribes in Nigeria.

 By  Hindatu Abdullahi

FIVE BASIC LOVE LANGUAGES FOR LOVERS

 

There are ways to express love emotionally, and as such each person has a primary love language that we must speak if we want that person to feel loved.

 

In this article here are five basic love languages

 

Words of Affirmation

If your spouse’s primary love language is words of affirmation, your spoken praise and appreciation will fall like rain on parched soil. Before long, you will see new life sprouting in your marriage as your spouse responds to your words of love.

Acts of Service

Do you remember the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words”? For some people, that is particularly true of love. If acts of service is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service.

Receiving Gifts

In every society throughout human history, gift giving has been perceived as an expression of love. Giving gifts is universal, because there is something inside the human psyche that says if you love someone, you will give to him or her. What many people do not understand is that for some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. It’s the thing that makes them feel loved most deeply. If you’re married to someone whose primary love language is gift giving, you will make your spouse feel loved and treasured by giving gifts on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and no occasion days. The gifts need not be expensive or elaborate, it’s the thought that counts. Little things mean a lot to a person whose primary love language is receiving gifts.

Quality Time

If your spouse’s love language is quality time giving him or her your undivided attention is one of the best ways you can show your love. Some men pride themselves on being able to watch television, read a magazine, and listen to their wives, all at the same time. That is an admirable trait, but it is not speaking the love language of quality time. Instead, you must turn off the TV, lay the magazine down, look into your mate’s eyes and listen, pay attention and interact. To your spouse, 20 minutes of your undivided attention listening and conversing is like a 20-minute refill of his or her love tank.

Physical Touch

We have long known the emotional power of physical touch. That’s why we pick up babies and touch them tenderly. Long before an infant understands the meaning of the word love he or she feels loved by physical touch.In marriage, the love language of physical touch includes everything from putting a hand on your mate’s shoulder as you walk by, touching his or her leg as you’re driving together, and holding hands while you’re walking to kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse. If physical touch is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing communicates love more clearly than for you to take the initiative to reach out and touch your mate.

BY STEPHANIE E. HEMEN

MANCRUSH MONDAY

 

Our man crush for today is a popular Nigerian professional footballer who plays for the Nigeria national team Super Eagles and the Saudi Arabian team Al-Nassr. He is the first Nigerian to score more than once in a FIFA World cup match and he is also the first Nigerian to score in two FIFA world cup competitions. He also happened to be a member of the Al-Nassr squad that won the Saudi premier league and Saudi super cup both in 2019. This person is no any other person than Ahmad Musa.

Ahmad Musa from Jos Plateau, Nigeria was born 14th October 1992. He began his football career in the GBS football Academy. He was loaned to JUTH F.C in 2008, and later to Kano Pillars F.C.

Musa had the record for the highest goal ever scored in season in the history of Nigeria premier league, until November 2011, when another footballer set new record of 20 goals.

 He was rated by goal.com among the hot 100 young football star in the world to watch in 2011. He was also selected among the top ten Nigerian international player of 2010 by Lolade Adewuyi of goal.com and was also included in IFFHS List of best 140 players in the world.

In May 2018 he was named in Nigeria's preliminary 30-man squad for the 2018 FIFA World cup in Russia.  In June 2019 he became the third most capped player for Nigeria's national team, surpassing Nwankwo Kanu, after appearing in a friendly against Zimbabwe. He was named in the 2019 Africa cup of nation’s team by head coach Gernot Rohr.

On 7 December 2011, Ahmed Musa was one of the four nominees named for the   confederation of African football Most Promising Talent Award.

On March 8 2011, He won the AIT footballer of the year award. On 7th January 2012, musa signed to play for a Russian club for an undisclosed fee, He finished the 2015-2016 Russian premier league season as the 5th highest scorer, becoming one of only seven players aged 23 or younger to reach double figures for goals in each of the past two season in Europe’s top seven leagues.

On 8th July 2016, musa moved to leister city for a club record of £16.6 million. On 4th august 2018, musa moved to Saudi Arabian side Al-Nassr on a permanent deal.

BY: FIRDAUSI MUSA DANTSOHO