SIGNS YOUR PARTNER
IS READY TO SETTLE BUT YOU ARE NOT
“I’m ready to
settle down,” you overhear your partner say over the phone. They’re talking to
their friend who just got married, and you think they’re talking about you and
your lack of enthusiasm to commit. You’ve been going out for years, and the
dust has long settled since you’ve exchanged each other’s house keys, but your
relationship is on a deadlock. People have been
asking when you are going to get married, but you’ve been so used to the questions
that “We’re just enjoying each other’s company and taking things slow,” pops
out of your mouth each time.
Suddenly, you
notice how your partner has been making plans, the dream house that they want
you both to live in, the baby grand piano next to the sitting room where you
will both spend your sunsets together as you get old and even the names of your
kids.
SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS PLANNING ON
SETTLING DOWN
It’s clear you’re not ready to settle down, but you have a nagging thought
that your partner is. Here are signs that your partner is ready to take the
relationship to the next level even if you’re not.
1. Making it
Facebook official- Your partner has already excitedly changed their
relationship status from “Single” to “In a Relationship” and has tagged you to
boot. Heck, they might even be itching to change it to “Engaged” as soon as
they can. They hint that you should do the same, but you tell them that there’s
no need. In fact, your profile might not even display your relationship status
at all. While your partner may be glad it doesn’t say “Single,” they’re still a
bit annoyed at the fact that your profile doesn’t announce the fact that you’re
in a relationship with them.
2. Social media life- Your
partner’s profile picture is of you and them together while yours is that
somber photo of your back and you don’t plan on changing it any time soon. A
look at their social media account will show them as obviously taken, and taken
by you. Both of your pictures are all over their social media accounts, and
your partner even posts lyrics from songs that you know are all about you. On
your end, however, the only things that bind you two together are the “Likes”
your partner forces you to click on their statuses.
5. Exchanging
passwords- You have each other’s house keys, so why not
exchange passwords on your social media accounts? Your partner has given you
theirs, and you gave them yours, but you just changed it afterwards. Actually,
you just don’t want your partner to find out the many old messages from the
flings you had before you met them. Most of all, you don’t want them finding
out that you and your many exes are still friends and talking to each other. It
will just alarm your partner and get you both into an argument you don’t want
to deal with.
6. Planning the
holidays- Your partner is drawing long plans over where you
both could spend the holidays for the next three years, and all you care about
is the idea of going to every party over the next few weeks. You think about
buying a new outfit for each while your partner is interested in your next
bed-and-breakfast reservation.
7. Discussing the
future- Your partner is sitting you down over dinner to discuss your short and
long-term goals as a couple. They flip over magazines or look at furniture
stores and tell you about how they want your future house to look. As for you,
the only family you’re interested in is the one you’ve been watching in that
drama series.
8. The daily grind-
Your partner can’t wait to tell you how their day went and they draw out
a long pause to allow you to do the same. For you, however, there’s no need to
play back, especially when they have been updating you almost every hour of
every day while asking you how you are when you’ve just been sitting around in
the office. You honestly just don’t care to share every detail of your day.
9. Going out with
friends- Your partner expects you to not only let them know about everything that
is going on in your day; you have to tell them who you’re with. Your partner
gives you a complete account of where they are going, why, and with whom, and
they expect that you do the same as well. However, you believe that you are
your own person, and the idea of having to ask for permission before going out
with your friends on your weekly night out is absolutely ridiculous.
10. That choking feeling- Your
partner is willing to take your relationship to the next level, that wedding
bells level. However, you’re still on the fence about it, or to put it bluntly,
you’re still on the OTHER side of the fence and you don’t think you’ll ever
jump on the other side, especially when you sometimes feel that the
relationship is choking you.
11. Meeting the
Family- Your partner has introduced you to their parents, and they’ve been
talking to yours almost every single day. Their parents insist you call them
“Mom” and “Dad,” but you seem to be tongue-tied each time, like you have
absolutely no capability to do so. For you, your parents are only your
biological ones, and you feel awfully strange about people who are suddenly
getting so close to you.
3. Flirting with others- Your
partner may be the apple of your eye when you’re together, but sometimes, you
just can’t help but take a second, more lingering look at someone who caught
your eye. After all, your eyes may seem to have a mind of their own. And when
your partner is not around, you still think it is okay to flirt a little with
other people. It’s good clean fun, and it’s great for your ego, but sometimes,
there’s a faint voice in your head urging you on because, honestly, you are
still searching for “the one.”
4. The ex-factor- Your
partner is great and all, but there seems to be something or someone that is
holding you back. Your ex. No matter how much you try to move on, you are still
hugely hurting from your past relationship. You don’t want your current partner
to be a rebound, and it’s really been years since you and your ex broke up, but
you just can’t imagine yourself being with someone else other than that one
person who broke your heart. You may be
caught up with so many other things like your career, you ex, your carefree
lifestyle, or simply yourself that you just can’t see the red flags that you
are presenting your partner, who is utterly in love with you. In fact, they may
be so in love that they also chose to ignore these red flags, just so they can
be with you. Settling down simply
because your partner shows all the signs will only result in an unhealthy relationship that will make
you both unhappy and miserable in the end. So why not just be honest with your
partner and tell them that you’re not on the same page yet?
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