JOKES

THE HARVEST

An old Nigerian farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison, Emeka “this year I won’t be able to plant yam and cassava because I can’t dig the yard. I know if you were here, you would have assisted me”. Emeka wrote back, “dad ,don’t even think of digging the yard because that was where I buried the money I stole”.

The Nigerian police on reading the letter went there very early the following day and dug the whole yard searching for the money but nothing was found.

The next day, Emeka wrote back to his father “dad you can now plant your yam, and cassava, this is the best I can do from here. Dad replies “Emeka! Emeka! My son you are a very powerful man indeed, even in prison you still command the policemen, I was surprise to see all the policemen with hoes and shovels digging my farm. I will write you again when I want to harvest”.

IGBO MAN

An Igbo man was terribly sick and was about to die, so all his family gather around him and was weeping as he was about to say his final words, then he said, “where is Emeka and Chimela”? They both replied in tears “papa we are here”. He then asked “what about Amara and Nneka”? The wife busted in tears and said “they are all here but you can’t see them”. The man said if all of you are here then who is in the shop.

DREAM

A man fell asleep and had a dream. In his dream he died and reincarnated into a chicken. Then, the chicken was laying eggs, it lay the first egg, then the second egg, as it was about to lay the third egg, his wife screamed “papa Nkechi, wake up you dey shit for bed oooo”.

A NIGERIAN, AN AMERICAN AND A GERMAN

A Nigerian, an American and a German boarded a plane as the plane was flying over the sea Satan came out and said to them: “I want you to drop something into the sea, if I find it you die, but if I don’t you live”. The American quickly plucked a button “see”! He said and killed the American. The German threw a pin into the sea, Satan dived and came out with the pin. “See”! He said and killed the German. The Nigerian brought out pure water sachet, opened it and poured the content into the sea holding the sachet. He said to Satan. “Oya begin find water inside water……. idiot”…….. Proud to be a Nigerian jare… Even the devil dey bow for us.