Overcoming Undesirable Situations

First, what do we mean by undesirable situation? There are many situations that can be termed undesirable:

. It can be an abusive marriage or relationship

. It may be a stagnant or dead-end job that holds neither job satisfaction nor prospects for growth or advancement.

. It can be a business that makes you compromise your integrity.

. It might even be a religious or social organisation that you feel uncomfortable with. You feel mentally and emotionally enslaved

Whatever situation that qualifies as undesirable for you can be overcome with a few simple steps:

. You must first become aware of the undesirability of the situation without trying to diminish the gravity by living in denial. 

. Decide that you want to change the situation and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to break free from the situation

. Then seek counsel from those who have been there before you and find out how they were able to overcome. Bear in mind that no two situations will be exactly the same and so there would be different approaches to handling adverse situations.

. Be willing to suffer inconveniences; you might have to leave your comfort zone, especially if the undesirable situation has to do with abusive marriage or relationship. Face the fact that there will be challenges. Freedom has a price tag; be willing to pay it, otherwise, endure your situation and stay where you are.

. Do not rush; take the time required to make preparations against unforeseen circumstances. There will be disappointments.

. Go for training: You will need to acquire new skills that will help you survive. You will need mental and emotional survival skills; you will also need physical, financial and management skills to manage your new life.

. Pray and be at peace with yourself and with your God.

. Remove bitterness and resentment from your mind. Be objective and take responsibility for your decisions and your 

actions. You don’t have to fix blames to anybody.  All you need to do is fix the situation.

. Read mind liberating and emotionally stabilizing books (e.g. the   Bible and other great books)

. Stay focused on changing your undesirable situation. Take one positive step forward at a time.

. Don’t rush into another relationship. Build yourself up to be both emotionally and financially independent. When you are truly independent, you may wish to have a relationship on your own terms. You’ll be free from manipulative influences of romantic affairs.

Ola N. Uchendu